I Am Grieving the Loss of a Friendship

It’s a strange place to be numbly full of emotion. A sort of stung disbelief followed by a cacophony of feeling falling down in waves. I am head over heart, but even my deep inner sense of practicality can be waylaid by the heart that wants what it wants. The struggle to take back what has been lost for so long is so very real and visceral, and to know the key that dangled so temptingly has been locked away causes my common sense to vanish like an ant in the mouth of a furnace. Loss (of all kinds) hurts because it speaks to finality. Our hearts and memories remind us of what was there but it can’t paint an image of the after, so we get lost in that finality for a while. I never want to let go of people or things important to me. I never want to say goodbye but sometimes the choice isn’t mine and it isn’t now. So I got out of bed and did my routine and started my work in this strange place, with the weakest knowledge that one day…long from now… I will wake up, do my routine and start my work, and it isn’t going to feel quite as strange.
-Raven