I Am Writing a Novel

I'm interested in opinions on how I've opened my novel. I really want to throw the reader into the deep end, then casually narrate the events. This isn't the complete version, just interested on what you think-

A universe full of wonders and mystic was drastically changed forever. Between 150 and 200 years ago, a new discovery shattered the very way people viewed their existence. For thousands of years, widespread lands adopted many different types of spiritual beliefs. Most attempting to explain that everything in the natural world is governed by some kind of ‘magic entity’. With new advancements in "magical assistance", a peculiar obstacle was uncovered. Magnetism couldn't be adapted into a diode wand. With the revelation coming to light, some began accepting a widely disputed argument as conclusive facts. A “non-magical” force can somehow exist. The discovery caused much excitement, with an equal amount of outrage and skepticism. A lot of written work had to be revised or tossed. It was at this time that a lot of great minds began joking about their overwhelming task. While another wrote a resignation letter to the king.

MaryJanine · 70-79, F

If you are interested in becoming a writer, you must first grab your readers with an arresting sentence. Begin with shortened paragraphs. It looks like you are trying to cram too much into one large paragraph. The subject is fine, but too much at once will kill a reader's interest.

Your second sentence in your sample will do fine as a "lead-in" to your story. Re-arrange the setting of the others. You have anywhere from three to five smaller paragraphs contained in it.

I am not an expert, but I am a printed author. I have written for newspapers and magazines, and am working on my own novel myself. We can always use another author.