I Want U to Just Say Whatever Is On Your Mind
Ok... I need to stop caring about everything... im not where I am suppose to be
31-35, M
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randomblue13
@lipbloss
Intellectualization is not a good defense mechanism. It's only useful, when You absolutely are incapable with dealing with the amount of emotions that are flooding You. But it's only a temporary solution, that if prolonged or used permanently, can significantly decrease life happiness and influence many areas of life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectualization
The only sure way to heal wounds is to look the emotions and fears straight in the face and not do anything about it, just to feel them. Don't react to them at all, they are something outside of You that needs to be left alone to flow without judgement.
As for the place You should be. He wants to be dead, if You didn't read it, so I don't know if advising Him that's He's on a road to suicide and that He'll reach that place is not a great way of helping somebody.
Iminpain is exactly where He should be and until He accepts Himself with all the flaws, problems, even accept the feeling of lack of acceptance for Himself, He's not going to make progress. He's in so much pain that He assumes (incorrectly) He will suffer with every single day of His life and that killing Himself will bring relief. Which it won't because after You die, You don't feel any relief. You are just dead. Simply a person doesn't have enough emotional resistance at this moment to deal with the problems. Such a person needs support, but often the problems that make Him suffer, at the same time make Him avoid any help. It's a catch-22. A skilled therapist can bring You out of such.
Right now, the best advice is to create a good life style: a good diet, at least a bit of aerobic exercise (so that You get really tired), avoiding stress and sleeping a lot. The problems that a person has might make it difficult for a person to start living a healthy lifestyle. Another catch-22, but still all one can do is support, advise and hope for the best without direct contact. A person needs to stop doing as many stressful things as possible and rest A LOT, in order to give space to all the emotions that are flowing through Him. Such a person might feel that the emotions are permenent and will never leave, which is typical, but it's false. They are gradually disappearing whenever You allow them to flow without judgement. It's just that sometimes when You make a hole in the barrel, it takes some time until all the "poisonous water" flows out through the hole. When the barrel is large, it might seem like the water will flow for eternity and then the person starts blocking the flow of water, keeping the poisonous water inside. But it's actually better to make the whole a bit bigger, just enough so You can bear the flow. Of course You have to do it in a safe environment, when and where nobody will judge You and You feel safe. It will be even more emotionally painful for a certain time, but the barrel will empty itself more quickly and the less water inside, the calmer and happier You become. When You jump into new situations without allowing the water to leave the barrel first, You will just pour more water into the barrel.
I hope my metaphor is understandable.
Anyway, don't act on Your pain or emotions, don't hurt Yourself, don't hurt others, just give this pain and emotions space to flow and they will leave.
Intellectualization is not a good defense mechanism. It's only useful, when You absolutely are incapable with dealing with the amount of emotions that are flooding You. But it's only a temporary solution, that if prolonged or used permanently, can significantly decrease life happiness and influence many areas of life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectualization
The only sure way to heal wounds is to look the emotions and fears straight in the face and not do anything about it, just to feel them. Don't react to them at all, they are something outside of You that needs to be left alone to flow without judgement.
As for the place You should be. He wants to be dead, if You didn't read it, so I don't know if advising Him that's He's on a road to suicide and that He'll reach that place is not a great way of helping somebody.
Iminpain is exactly where He should be and until He accepts Himself with all the flaws, problems, even accept the feeling of lack of acceptance for Himself, He's not going to make progress. He's in so much pain that He assumes (incorrectly) He will suffer with every single day of His life and that killing Himself will bring relief. Which it won't because after You die, You don't feel any relief. You are just dead. Simply a person doesn't have enough emotional resistance at this moment to deal with the problems. Such a person needs support, but often the problems that make Him suffer, at the same time make Him avoid any help. It's a catch-22. A skilled therapist can bring You out of such.
Right now, the best advice is to create a good life style: a good diet, at least a bit of aerobic exercise (so that You get really tired), avoiding stress and sleeping a lot. The problems that a person has might make it difficult for a person to start living a healthy lifestyle. Another catch-22, but still all one can do is support, advise and hope for the best without direct contact. A person needs to stop doing as many stressful things as possible and rest A LOT, in order to give space to all the emotions that are flowing through Him. Such a person might feel that the emotions are permenent and will never leave, which is typical, but it's false. They are gradually disappearing whenever You allow them to flow without judgement. It's just that sometimes when You make a hole in the barrel, it takes some time until all the "poisonous water" flows out through the hole. When the barrel is large, it might seem like the water will flow for eternity and then the person starts blocking the flow of water, keeping the poisonous water inside. But it's actually better to make the whole a bit bigger, just enough so You can bear the flow. Of course You have to do it in a safe environment, when and where nobody will judge You and You feel safe. It will be even more emotionally painful for a certain time, but the barrel will empty itself more quickly and the less water inside, the calmer and happier You become. When You jump into new situations without allowing the water to leave the barrel first, You will just pour more water into the barrel.
I hope my metaphor is understandable.
Anyway, don't act on Your pain or emotions, don't hurt Yourself, don't hurt others, just give this pain and emotions space to flow and they will leave.
lipbloss
Not caring takes time and practice, and in the end, it's not that you don't care, it's that you can throw a switch and and chose not to. You will learn to be able to rationalise why it is that you shouldn't bleed for something. It takes a bit of bleeding to get there, but that's how it you learn.
And you may not be where you're supposed to be now, but that's okay. You're inbetween. It's temporary, even if it doesn't feel like it.
The fastest way to get to where you're supposed to be is to figure out where that is. If you're not sure, then you work backwards and figure out where you're not supposed to be.
And try to have fun while you're inbetween... like what else are you going to do? ;)
And you may not be where you're supposed to be now, but that's okay. You're inbetween. It's temporary, even if it doesn't feel like it.
The fastest way to get to where you're supposed to be is to figure out where that is. If you're not sure, then you work backwards and figure out where you're not supposed to be.
And try to have fun while you're inbetween... like what else are you going to do? ;)
randomblue13
And where are You supposed to be and why are You not there?
randomblue13
Why do You want to die?
mynewhate · 31-35, M
dead, IDK =/