I Know My Place

All my life I've been the odd man out. I never really fit in anywhere or with anyone in particular. Even the outcasts shunned me. Never understood what I ever did to be ostracized by everyone my whole life. I was born was the best answer I could come up with. I'm not deformed, I have good hygiene, I'm pleasant enough once someone gets to know me. Never understood what was wrong with me. I was blind to this for a good chunk of my childhood. Yes, I would get upset when I wasn't allowed to sit with the other kids in my class during lunch.When someone was absent and a seat was open I tried to sit there and repeatedly got told to move along. I had to sit at a table by myself, which sucked. Yes, I got upset when nobody invited me to birthday parties past 3rd grade. I still thought there was hope back then. I didn't really understand what was going on until I got older. In middle school I started to wake up some. I had begun to realize that there was something wrong with me that I couldn't see that repelled others from me. There was something that made them not want to talk to me. I'm in my mid 30s now and still don't understand.

Wasn't until highschool that I was fully awake to this place I've been shoved it at birth. Nobody sees me. Nobody wants me. I'm just dirt on their shoes. That's why they all treat me like trash, laugh at me, ignore me, never involve me. I wasn't made to fit in. I wasn't made to be part of a group. This is why I am alone.