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I Have a Half-sibling I've Never Met

20 years before I was born my mom gave a baby up for adoption. She had 2 more babies in 5 years that she kept then me years later. My adopted sister found us and is coming to meet us soon. My 2 older siblings are freaking out and can't wait and took a week off work to be with her. And I'm just meh. She's old enough to be my mom and has kids my age. I live alone with nobody to help pay my bills. My siblings are giving me the 3rd degree for not taking off work. I didn't invite her here. I'm willing to meet her but on my schedule. Am I wrong?

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AntisocialTroll · 56-60, F

It's not wrong it's just how you feel but I've been in her position and I was fascinated to try and get to know my relatives, when you are not bought up by those who are related to you it's hard not to be incredibly interested in people who are related by blood.

Mine are like you and couldn't be less interested, as adoptees we often can't help but feel we should have the right to know those who are related to us. It kinda feels like we are denied a basic human right 99.9% of people get as a matter of course without even thinking about it. Having to put ourselves up for rejection again by a family that has already rejected us once is a very tough thing to do, please try and cut her some slack if you can.

Ragnarock1276 · 46-50, M

@AntisocialTroll I have talked to her on the phone and Facebook. I don't reject her I just don't really feel anything. My extended family is huge. I've worked along side cousins we had no idea we were related til months later. It happens so often the novelty has worn off. She is so much older than me that it feels like she's in a different generation. I'm definitely going to meet her. But I can't afford to call off work.

AntisocialTroll · 56-60, F

@Ragnarock1276 Fair enough, just trying to show how tough this is from her point of view, it can be quite the roller coaster ride emotionally and I hope it goes well for you all.

westwiiler · 51-55, M

it's weird.

I'm adopted. I would love it if my bio-dad's side had a little excitement..just enough to take the damn dna test.

oh well....dude, you do you. I understand.

Ragnarock1276 · 46-50, M

@westwiiler I've talked to her on the phone and keep in touch on Facebook. I have no problem hanging out after work but my siblings want me to not work at all while she's here.

westwiiler · 51-55, M

@Ragnarock1276 well, that's a little nutty....but you do you. I keep my bio-mom at an arm's lenghth....probably the way my half-brother does me.

JoePourMan · 61-69, M

It's not a right or wrong issue, but I know I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity

Ragnarock1276 · 46-50, M

@JoePourMan I'm definitely going to meet her. And we keep in touch on Facebook and by phone. I'm not rejecting her I just don't feel excited.

olderuncle944 · 70-79, M

im adopted and always knew it found my biological siblings when i was your age i took time off to go see them.there were 5 of us kids im the last living one after spending time with them i was very happy to be adopted they had a terrible life one sister and my self were adopted to other kids were older but i was curious and also need health questions answered all the girls died of cancer including our mother our dad had heart problems

SStarfish ·

At least the other two are happy to see her..

Ragnarock1276 · 46-50, M

@SStarfish I think it's because they are closer in age. I feel like she's an aunt or cousin. I'm going to meet her. And we talk on the phone and Facebook. We've just never met in person.

SStarfish ·

@Ragnarock1276 ive never met my step kids in person

Spoiledbrat · F

I would at least try to meet her judt to support your family. I don’t think you have to take time off if you don’t want to or can’t.

Ragnarock1276 · 46-50, M

@Spoiledbrat I'm definitely going to meet her. I have no problem hanging out after work. But they want me to not go to work at all.

Spoiledbrat · F

I don’t think they should make you feel bad for not doing it. @Ragnarock1276

Peaches · F

No, you're not wrong. Don't let anyone force you to feel any certain way.😏

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