I Am Real And My Stories Are True
I have some rather odd experiences. O honestly thought I was Lucille Ball reincarnated.
Here is the first I shall tell you. Hopefully you get a laugh.
In an attempt to put spark back in the marriage, I thought for a long time and got an idea. Now my past attempts caused rather embarrassing family story, a time I was locked in the pantry, and a time where I almost set the house and myself on fire...But those are for another time.
This particular time, I decided to "prime the pump" as it were. I thought of all the possible ways it could go wrong. Because that happens and in my case more often than not.
My husband was going to be traveling between job sites, so I knew he was going to be alone. His speaker on his phone was not working, so I knew i would not be broadcasted, and I wrote out notecards so I would not stutter too much.
So I called him up after checking the number several times to make sure I did not dial up someone else, like my dad or boss. I heard a quick 'hello and started before I could not lose my nerve.
I was softly spoken and tried to take it slow and be sensual. I told my husband all the things I wanted to do when he got home. I heard hos breath catch then speed. Then I explained how it would feel for him and me. I think I heard a moan or two. I described the sight, sounds, and feelings, I hoped to experience when we were alone. That time I did hear a moan.
When I had finished my detailed description I asked him what he thought. Gawd it seemed like ages before I got a response.
Finally, I heard a voice, not my husband's, say, "Darlin' that was hawt as hell. I have not been this excited in years."
I was stunned. I looked at my phone. Yes the right number. I asked, "who is this? How did you get this phone."
It was explained that it was the bouncer at my husband's favorite strip club. Apparently my husband left hos phone there the might before....people are to check their phones before entering the club. The rule is no phones. no cameras.
I felt the warmth of embarrassment envelope me. Still silent, as I did not know what to say, I heard him say....if you come in all your drinks are free.
I tried to play it off. I said oh I cant...I am a 600 plus shut in.
He laughed heartily then said, "Not likely darlin', your husband has a picture of you on this phone. "
And although I don't curse much, I said damn and hung up.
When my husband came home that night, I ran out to confess my mistake...I was so close to tears....But he was already laughing. He got the whole story when he picked up the phone. Lol
And I guess free drinks extended to him by that time. He wanted me to return that night with him. Lamo
Here is the first I shall tell you. Hopefully you get a laugh.
In an attempt to put spark back in the marriage, I thought for a long time and got an idea. Now my past attempts caused rather embarrassing family story, a time I was locked in the pantry, and a time where I almost set the house and myself on fire...But those are for another time.
This particular time, I decided to "prime the pump" as it were. I thought of all the possible ways it could go wrong. Because that happens and in my case more often than not.
My husband was going to be traveling between job sites, so I knew he was going to be alone. His speaker on his phone was not working, so I knew i would not be broadcasted, and I wrote out notecards so I would not stutter too much.
So I called him up after checking the number several times to make sure I did not dial up someone else, like my dad or boss. I heard a quick 'hello and started before I could not lose my nerve.
I was softly spoken and tried to take it slow and be sensual. I told my husband all the things I wanted to do when he got home. I heard hos breath catch then speed. Then I explained how it would feel for him and me. I think I heard a moan or two. I described the sight, sounds, and feelings, I hoped to experience when we were alone. That time I did hear a moan.
When I had finished my detailed description I asked him what he thought. Gawd it seemed like ages before I got a response.
Finally, I heard a voice, not my husband's, say, "Darlin' that was hawt as hell. I have not been this excited in years."
I was stunned. I looked at my phone. Yes the right number. I asked, "who is this? How did you get this phone."
It was explained that it was the bouncer at my husband's favorite strip club. Apparently my husband left hos phone there the might before....people are to check their phones before entering the club. The rule is no phones. no cameras.
I felt the warmth of embarrassment envelope me. Still silent, as I did not know what to say, I heard him say....if you come in all your drinks are free.
I tried to play it off. I said oh I cant...I am a 600 plus shut in.
He laughed heartily then said, "Not likely darlin', your husband has a picture of you on this phone. "
And although I don't curse much, I said damn and hung up.
When my husband came home that night, I ran out to confess my mistake...I was so close to tears....But he was already laughing. He got the whole story when he picked up the phone. Lol
And I guess free drinks extended to him by that time. He wanted me to return that night with him. Lamo
