I Hate That No One Pays Attention to Me
I don't want to be the center of attention, but it'd be nice to feel like I matter to someone. I swear that nearly all of the time I feel like i am not a part of the world around me. I will want to do something or be in need of something, and those around me that claim to like me will know about it, but nothing happens until later on I see or hear of them doing, having or getting rid of what I needed. Or I'll be talking to someone, and tell them something, just to later on have them say or ask something that was what I had told them earlier. I will point this out and they will say that they didn't know, and I should have said something.
I guess a good example of this would be when my house had burned. This is a small community and I can't say how many times i have seen or heard of others doing fundraisers, taking donations, or coming together to help out when someone has had something bad happen. All that anyone around here did for me was when one neighbor brought over a couch and a coffee table and another stopped to ask how it happened and slipped $50 in my pocket. I'm not saying that I wasn't appreciative of that, or when some classmates came by one afternoon to help clean out and when a friend helped me get the downstairs livable when he had the time. I do appreciate it, but it still hurts when I am struggling to get things done and others will see it and not even give a second glance. it always seems if someone does, they help at first but always lose interest and disappear.
Or when I will need to talk, just basic human interaction and either get ignored like I am not even there. Or if they do, it's often because they simply want someone to listen to them and many times I can't get a word in. Sometimes I will not message or call just to see how long it takes someone to check in on me, and always seem to break down and make contact first.
And last but not least, there is when I am out somewhere and get cut off either walking somewhere or in the car by others who don't seem to notice or care that I am there.
Sorry, just needed to let out somethings that have been festering for a while.
I guess a good example of this would be when my house had burned. This is a small community and I can't say how many times i have seen or heard of others doing fundraisers, taking donations, or coming together to help out when someone has had something bad happen. All that anyone around here did for me was when one neighbor brought over a couch and a coffee table and another stopped to ask how it happened and slipped $50 in my pocket. I'm not saying that I wasn't appreciative of that, or when some classmates came by one afternoon to help clean out and when a friend helped me get the downstairs livable when he had the time. I do appreciate it, but it still hurts when I am struggling to get things done and others will see it and not even give a second glance. it always seems if someone does, they help at first but always lose interest and disappear.
Or when I will need to talk, just basic human interaction and either get ignored like I am not even there. Or if they do, it's often because they simply want someone to listen to them and many times I can't get a word in. Sometimes I will not message or call just to see how long it takes someone to check in on me, and always seem to break down and make contact first.
And last but not least, there is when I am out somewhere and get cut off either walking somewhere or in the car by others who don't seem to notice or care that I am there.
Sorry, just needed to let out somethings that have been festering for a while.
