I Sometimes Feel Lonely

Got used to being alone because as a kid i never got to see friends after school or on the weekends, it was always my dad always made me study and would seriously punish me/beat me if I tried to go out and play. I guess he just wanted the best for me but now I really suck at meeting people. Im just used to spending my time alone and while I enjoy solitude, it gets really lonely sometimes. I also always feel like Im in the way, like people only talk to me because Im available to talk to. I never had friends from school call or hang out with me when Im not in school or anything. Its like my friends are restricted to the location I meet them. I had a best friend in high school but after graduation we went to different universities in different states. Im in college now and i have my own room, i never get visitors unless exams/tests are approaching and someone needs tutoring. I'll be 19 soon and my dad still controls 90% of my life and I guess thats fair because he's paying for college and thats a lot of money. But yeah that also means I dont even get to go out of the house, its like Im alsays grounded lol. Today i felt particularly upset because well my normal phone broke and i hadnt been online on any app for like two days. Theres this app sort of like SW called Vent where I also made some online friends. So i connected to the internet on my laptop and used this android emulator called bluestacks but when I opened up my phone it was like nobody even noticed I was gone lol. The worst thing about this all is that I was finally making a friend irl and it looked sort of promising but then he died. So unexpectedly.