I Am Venting
[i]This is a long post so please skip on. I need to write this to drop it and no longer be angry with this situation. [/i]
I hate making posts like these but I am now really fed up being at the end of someone elses hang up and the object to be lashed on.
Someone recently said I must be dramatic myself to attract all this in my life and day. And I do not know if this is dramatic or me being naive. But I have befriended volatile people with issues most people will keep distance from. Because who needs care more than those people who are so broken no one even goes near them? With the hope that if I make a difference to lives in a positive manner then my life will have a better meaning. And in doing so I have opened myself to a lot of negativity coming out of the same people who react with such volatility when they don't have their entitlement and expectations met by me. I offer care and friendship. Not the right to own me and my individuality or my affection in any extra way. So yes I am indirectly responsible for attracting all of this.
To you, who is going around like a volatile timebomb trying to shame me as a body shamer. There is a huge difference between body shaming and just laughing at something that has become a stereotype. I thought we all knew stereotypes are stupid. I sat for a long time listening to you harass me for laughing at a joke. I told you I was already in a bad mood and you should keep away from me. And after your continued accusations and passive aggressive messages I could no longer handle your words and preferred to cut you out.
But in any case, I did not mean to body shame anyone. I don't do that. I am not like that. But since me laughing at something hurt you I apologise for my insensitivity.
You have done this before once. You took my rejection of your romantic advances so badly that you abused and insulted me for a few days straight. My fault was what? That I extended you a kindness. I didn't say anything. I chose to remain silent and let you get your tantrum out. But it's not a tantrum when it becomes a pattern. It's your personality when you don't get your way.
In doing all you do, you forgot who was there for you. But gratefulness is not in the nature of the entitled. And I didn't even ask for gratitude. But this is just something else. These are your true colours.
You returned after a while with effusive apologies. In fact you returned more than once and I kept turning you away. This time I didn't turn you away and I have no real good reason why I did that. My compassion is my crutch sometimes. I had the good sense to keep you at a distance though so kudos to me. I endured you begging me to accept your friendship, and more. It gets old and tiring to listen to the same thing. I don't know why it's so hard to accept I wanted nothing more with you.
You have taught me never to befriend just anyone again. Never to drop compassion so easily and widely with anyone. To be more selective who I choose to interact with in the future. And to definitely cut off people ASAP instead of trying cut them any slack.
If you need to feel better about yourself by going around talking smack of me.. Go ahead. But your hangups are not of my causing. Your anger is channelled to the wrong person. This bridge to the crippled friendship we had is finally fully burnt.
This is the last thing I will say on this matter. I just want to be on this site for the things that bring me comfort and distraction from things in my own life I am trying to improve. I don't live off such drama and I am certainly not here to fulfil anyones entitlement. I am not here to be popular or whatever else other hang ups anyone has about me. I just want to be.
If you don't like me and how I am it's okay to just walk away from my profile.
I hate making posts like these but I am now really fed up being at the end of someone elses hang up and the object to be lashed on.
Someone recently said I must be dramatic myself to attract all this in my life and day. And I do not know if this is dramatic or me being naive. But I have befriended volatile people with issues most people will keep distance from. Because who needs care more than those people who are so broken no one even goes near them? With the hope that if I make a difference to lives in a positive manner then my life will have a better meaning. And in doing so I have opened myself to a lot of negativity coming out of the same people who react with such volatility when they don't have their entitlement and expectations met by me. I offer care and friendship. Not the right to own me and my individuality or my affection in any extra way. So yes I am indirectly responsible for attracting all of this.
To you, who is going around like a volatile timebomb trying to shame me as a body shamer. There is a huge difference between body shaming and just laughing at something that has become a stereotype. I thought we all knew stereotypes are stupid. I sat for a long time listening to you harass me for laughing at a joke. I told you I was already in a bad mood and you should keep away from me. And after your continued accusations and passive aggressive messages I could no longer handle your words and preferred to cut you out.
But in any case, I did not mean to body shame anyone. I don't do that. I am not like that. But since me laughing at something hurt you I apologise for my insensitivity.
You have done this before once. You took my rejection of your romantic advances so badly that you abused and insulted me for a few days straight. My fault was what? That I extended you a kindness. I didn't say anything. I chose to remain silent and let you get your tantrum out. But it's not a tantrum when it becomes a pattern. It's your personality when you don't get your way.
In doing all you do, you forgot who was there for you. But gratefulness is not in the nature of the entitled. And I didn't even ask for gratitude. But this is just something else. These are your true colours.
You returned after a while with effusive apologies. In fact you returned more than once and I kept turning you away. This time I didn't turn you away and I have no real good reason why I did that. My compassion is my crutch sometimes. I had the good sense to keep you at a distance though so kudos to me. I endured you begging me to accept your friendship, and more. It gets old and tiring to listen to the same thing. I don't know why it's so hard to accept I wanted nothing more with you.
You have taught me never to befriend just anyone again. Never to drop compassion so easily and widely with anyone. To be more selective who I choose to interact with in the future. And to definitely cut off people ASAP instead of trying cut them any slack.
If you need to feel better about yourself by going around talking smack of me.. Go ahead. But your hangups are not of my causing. Your anger is channelled to the wrong person. This bridge to the crippled friendship we had is finally fully burnt.
This is the last thing I will say on this matter. I just want to be on this site for the things that bring me comfort and distraction from things in my own life I am trying to improve. I don't live off such drama and I am certainly not here to fulfil anyones entitlement. I am not here to be popular or whatever else other hang ups anyone has about me. I just want to be.
If you don't like me and how I am it's okay to just walk away from my profile.
