I Lost My Keys

Where Are My Keys!... Its almost two weeks ago on Thanksgiving weekend, come Monday morning for work my keys vanished! I had to drive home with them?? my car is here?? and I am in my house??. I did party a lot this weekend, so not finding my keys prompted me to call in sick to work (blaming it on keys helps ease my mind a little, not the hangover hehehe) Although imagining if I told my boss the real reason, I would be fired on the spot.

I know I am not the only one who has a problem with keys, but the baffling question is just where do they go?

1. in the car
2. on the table
3. still in jacket pocket
4. on the ground outside
5. in the front entry door keyhole
6. behind or next to beer inside the refrigerator
7. in the couch cushions, behind bed, in the bedsheets
8. under the cat
9. Google Earth street view
10. behind me mocking me
11. behind me ....with a knife!
12. Atlantis
13. In my other hand
14. with my missing sock
15. locked inside the car
16. key heaven
17. in the lake behind my house
18. in the weeds

Damn --- Not there, not here, nor anywhere! Not with green eggs, not with ham! I looked low, I looked while listening to Deadmau5 song "where my keys" for motivation, I looked high, looked while i was high, then I forgot what I was looking for .....but found that damn sock that had been lost.

The first known instance of lost keys was when God lost the keys to the Pearly Gates. Too proud to admit his mistake, God insisted that everyone who died during that time was a sinner, and thus deserved to go straight to hell. Eventually, they keys were found and God was able to re-open heaven. When asked why he didn't just crawl through a window or make a new key with his magic powers, God responded: "I don't like your attitude..." The issue was dropped.

Imagine the world without keys there would be chaos and thievery, no more closed or locked doors, wondering what your roomate is actually doing in there all day, or leave the front door unlocked and your wife leaves you for the neighbor. Or we are locked out of everything is more like it, can't find the key to send the nuclear launch. Or the single man who weeps because he can't drive aimlessly by himself in his corvette anymore, he weeps because he has to take mass transit to his bankers office, realizing when he gets there the safe is locked.

Answer to this----- put a bell on the keys and duct tape em to your forehead.

So where are my keys!!!! I still have no F**n idea!

loveunbound67

i use to have a fantasy that i had the power to simultaneously teleport everybodies keys in the world into the Mojave desert and then imagine not only this huge mountain of keys but the incredible chaos that would thus ensue. I had fun imagining what the stupid news reports would be like, nobody could start their cars, everybody would b elate for work, it would actually be pretty terrible, but was funny to me at the time, this was in the 90's I guess an update to this would be to teleport everybody's smartphones into the Mojave Desert. By the way, i love your post's, you are charmingly adorable :)

MJSparkles · 46-50, F

hahaaa.....I lost my phone yesterday (again) for almost 24 hours. maybe you teleported it.......... but it came back, found it in my bed wrapped up in the covers. Lotta little leprechauns playing tricks right now, or maybe it was my keys playing tricks on me again.

Thanks for sharing ;)

loveunbound67

i put all of my little things in the same place every time. keys are hanging on my neck, unless i am sleeping, then i hang them on the wall, my phone goes on desk next to monitor, or back pack, wallet, i keep in my back pack. have not lost these things in like 8 years.