It's been haunting me.

About two weeks ago I was in the motel lot in my car. I was sitting there about to get high. I saw this older woman trying to get into her wheelchair she pulled from her backseat. She missed the mark because the chair moved on her and she fell to the ground hard. I sat there frozen watching this woman try to get right side up and crawl herself over to her chair. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me and why I didn't help. I ended up leaving my car and going to my room to get high there. I couldn't stand to look anymore. I'll never know if she made it okay or if she was injured. I feel awful about it and it's been eating me up inside. I should have helped or found some help at the very least. I think of her often and how she must have felt seeing me scurry away without looking at her. Damn it Yasunori why do you have to be so damn selfish?