I Just Dont Know Anymore

I'm currently lost in the chaos,
I question everything about myself,
are my feelings Nobel or am I a monster?
are my actions selfish or selfless?
is love real or do I need to grow up?
do I hold out for a happy ending or settle for secondhand happiness?

the girl who gives me hope also makes me question it,

The magic I felt haunts me and I'm left to wonder if it's still there or can I just not let go?

bound by my words of forever I often wonder when she'll say enough is enough and end me.

I think too much,

the difference between a hero and a monster is one is cheered for and one against. does she cheer for me at all?

I do for her, yet she never hears it.

Loving her is the only thing I ever felt I was good at.

maybe im not good enough.

each time I unzip my bleeding heart I hate myself for unleashing the little raincloud that crawls out.

love can make you invincible, immortal, yet it doesn't mean you cant feel pain, it just makes it so you keep going.

if only, if only.