My life and how I felt before 2000
I am a survivor. But I am here to talk about it. Suicide is an action that effects all others who are a part of your life in one way or another. The word suicide is something that people did not like to talk about, but it is always heard of. It is in the news, it is across social media platforms and even in the dark web. The talk of it is haunting, but for the one who thinks of it, or are contemplating it, it is relieving to them. Especially when they post about it.
If someone is sharing their thoughts on it to you,(or even leaving hints) then you are someone in their life they want to share it with. They want to know who is actually listening. They are probably someone who just wants to be heard, look at their living situation, be aware. Most suicides happen within the home, so that could mean their home life is not good.
That is just some thoughts from my own experience in recent years. As I said in the beginning, I am a survivor. Not by accident, but by an actual attempt. My suicide attempt actually saved my life. A month after my attempt I did a suicide walk called Out Of The Darkness. At that walk I saw a wall of photo's of people from all walks of life who died by suicide and at that moment, while I looked at each one of their faces, the only thought that came to me as I looked at each one, is that I knew, instantly, exactly how they felt moments before their life was gone.
I felt their pain, in every minute that I was there.
I made the attempt to escape from this world thirteen years ago while going through a divorce and custody battle and trying to survive as a victim of domestic violence and I found myself once again.
It took me many years because I had to go through a lot of soul searching for myself (and others). Yet, throughout those years, I learned about the ones who've had their hands on me (through Christ) and His praying hands by those who love me.
That has come to me through a process of revelations to love and appreciation and keep faith in others and hope in the process.
My suicide attempt still resonates with me because, it carries many burdens, but over the years I have learned to let go of most of the heaviness from it.
So throughout the years I have been living more care-free. Because I came close to God.
It was a revelation to me.
If someone is sharing their thoughts on it to you,(or even leaving hints) then you are someone in their life they want to share it with. They want to know who is actually listening. They are probably someone who just wants to be heard, look at their living situation, be aware. Most suicides happen within the home, so that could mean their home life is not good.
That is just some thoughts from my own experience in recent years. As I said in the beginning, I am a survivor. Not by accident, but by an actual attempt. My suicide attempt actually saved my life. A month after my attempt I did a suicide walk called Out Of The Darkness. At that walk I saw a wall of photo's of people from all walks of life who died by suicide and at that moment, while I looked at each one of their faces, the only thought that came to me as I looked at each one, is that I knew, instantly, exactly how they felt moments before their life was gone.
I felt their pain, in every minute that I was there.
I made the attempt to escape from this world thirteen years ago while going through a divorce and custody battle and trying to survive as a victim of domestic violence and I found myself once again.
It took me many years because I had to go through a lot of soul searching for myself (and others). Yet, throughout those years, I learned about the ones who've had their hands on me (through Christ) and His praying hands by those who love me.
That has come to me through a process of revelations to love and appreciation and keep faith in others and hope in the process.
My suicide attempt still resonates with me because, it carries many burdens, but over the years I have learned to let go of most of the heaviness from it.
So throughout the years I have been living more care-free. Because I came close to God.
It was a revelation to me.
