I Have Problems Sleeping

I've realized that when my mother says something bad about me, or I'm angry at myself, I deprive myself of sleep. I refuse to sleep until my body collapses from exhaustion. I can feel another fit coming on - my birthday is on the 17th, and my barn has a horse show that day. I'm not competing, but I want to go because home is where your heart is and my heart's with my horses. But my mother just told me that she had plans for me for my birthday, that we were going to go out for lunch and walk around shops. And I hate the fact that I would rather go to the barn than be with her. I can't see that trip ending in anything but disaster. We'd fight and I'd go home and cry and I didn't want that. So I told her that I'd go to the barn and then go out with her for dinner. So I feel the compulsion to not sleep coming over me and I can't fight it. I just can't.