I Think Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

I Wish I Had a Spare Computer I didn't need to worry about exposing to malware to I could reply to all of these unsolicited offers (actual ones that came in today):

1. Alaskan Herb Ends Ear-Ringing
2. Long Forgotten 1930s Method Lets You Breathe the Fat Out (Breath Fat Out? Woah!)
3. UV Power Moskinator (WTF is a Moskinator?)
4. Xterilizer Robot (I don't care if it does nothing. The name alone is awesome!)
5. Order Better Bladder (Can I get mine swapped out at the local garage?)
6. Build Your Own Silencer at Home (I'd Use it on the Noisy Neighbors)
7. 2-4 Inches Bigger in 5 Steps (I'm not an athlete, but I could manage at least 5 steps)