I Keep Myself Distracted So I Don't Feel
to a good friend and colleague, who turns out is a mirror of me 10 years ago
So. I had a cage at 19. It was music. HIM, nightwish, amorphis, dragonforce, after forever, linkin Park. They kept me locked up outside my life. Other people's sorrows and misery held me far enough away from mine as well to keep me plodding through my degree even though I hated it. Distraction from reality. Delaying the inevitable u-turn. It was inevitable simply because I understood something, through witnessing the extreme pain of others. Those who suffer at their own hands suffer because they care. They care so much for others that they believe them to be of more worth than themselves. This is very close to humility, a quality far too scarce in this world. Those who exhibit it should live on to share it with others, to help them out and to be great leaders. Their value is not less that that of others, those they care about so much, but equal. The fear of facing their own realities, distracts them and keeps their minds locked in the troubles of others. When really only a small portion is needed to focus on your own problems to solve them. Funny how we don't believe that until it happens. But the longer we procrastinate for whatever justification, the harder the recovery. Truer words are seldom seen.
I was thinking of building myself a new cage today. But a pretty one. My room. With photos and things I create. Then I started to think that's not much of a cage. Then I got scared and diverted off. Too different from my normal. And here I am talking to you.
So. I had a cage at 19. It was music. HIM, nightwish, amorphis, dragonforce, after forever, linkin Park. They kept me locked up outside my life. Other people's sorrows and misery held me far enough away from mine as well to keep me plodding through my degree even though I hated it. Distraction from reality. Delaying the inevitable u-turn. It was inevitable simply because I understood something, through witnessing the extreme pain of others. Those who suffer at their own hands suffer because they care. They care so much for others that they believe them to be of more worth than themselves. This is very close to humility, a quality far too scarce in this world. Those who exhibit it should live on to share it with others, to help them out and to be great leaders. Their value is not less that that of others, those they care about so much, but equal. The fear of facing their own realities, distracts them and keeps their minds locked in the troubles of others. When really only a small portion is needed to focus on your own problems to solve them. Funny how we don't believe that until it happens. But the longer we procrastinate for whatever justification, the harder the recovery. Truer words are seldom seen.
I was thinking of building myself a new cage today. But a pretty one. My room. With photos and things I create. Then I started to think that's not much of a cage. Then I got scared and diverted off. Too different from my normal. And here I am talking to you.
36-40, M
