I Have Body Dysmorphia

Lately, I feel like my thoughts are unwillingly constantly plagued by thoughts of disgust, shame and self hatred. I feel so hideous. There's nothing good about me and it's only ever getting worse. Adding on the pounds and too f***ing stupid or lazy to do anything. Just comfort eat some more. No one would actually want me. It's all pretend. Anyone who ever compliments me is lying to prevent hurting me but I know the truth. I don't want this body. I don't want it.