I Am Reflecting On My Life

Sitting here oh about 1:30 in the morning. Knowing I have to get up in a couple of hours to take the kids back to school, well it has me a little unsleepy. Another summer has come to past here, and with it the start of a new school year. I can't help to think how did it move so fast? It seems like we really did not do much. I have been pretty busy with school myself this summer. The kids well they enjoyed their time in, but was it really enough? Could I have done more? I mean yeah it is summer break but isn't that the time when families are suppose to go and do fun things?

I think this start of the new school year is hitting me a little bit harder than normal due to all of the other changes that I have going on right now. My oldest kids now off starting their lives in the world. Yet, when I look at them, I to wonder did I do right by them? I was good enough for them? I look back and think there are so many things I would change, that now I look to make those same changes with my younger ones. But still, that does not ease the guilt I feel, of not being around them as much as I should. To much work and to much me personal events that needed to be dealt with well, think a lot of could of been handled a different way. Hmm I am sure there is more I can write but now I am feeling the effects that my body is telling me. Time to lay your head down and get a few hours of sleep, for tomorrow starts another day in which there will be more to ponder.

Jkf71

Mine are still young but I too look back and wonder if I have done my best to this point. It's a thing most of us do I believe. Right now I am going through marriage issues so I am so distracted. I don't feel like I'm giving them 100% which is what they deserve. It's hard when your mother, & father. Good cop/bad cop...this school year is especially hard just filling out emergency cards. Knowing he was leaving I didn't know what to put to the question do both parents reside with child?...ugh! The once benign questions that seem to now cut through your soul!
Its hard to put everything else aside, but you need to find time for you too. Not work..that doesn't count. I am trying myself. I go to therapy, go for long walks when the kids are in school...it will be harder to do once I find a job.. But just taking time to do my hair nice, put on a bit of makeup, do my nails..read a book. Makes me feel a it better. It sounds like your doing a good job with your kids. Don't beat yourself up. Your doing your best in your situation. That's all we can do. I know it's not easy but ever forward...