I'm completely exhausted right now.

The past three nights unraveled into a hellish nightmare. It was last night that I really lost it. I didn't even have a chance. My ptsd fired up and I was done. I remember driving around, no where to go, screaming at the top of my lungs. I was driving between public places I felt comfortable in...but none of them I could stay for long. I called my wife, the smartest thing I've done, and she did her best to help. She managed to calm me down...but I still feel the weight of stress and the residual stress from last night. I'm really hoping today would be different, I'm so tired. Though, there is one more thing that's actually looking better.

Tomorrow I'm heading up to her small town to see her but on Friday she's coming down to move in to her new apartment. I'll be able to spend more time with her. Can finally get away from my triggers being the house I live in. Then I'll have to decide on what I should do about my family...