I Like Funny Stories

so we had salads for dinner so i was standing at the counter eating my food. well i just so happened to look up and see a medium sized red spider slowly making its way to the ceiling. im not scared of spiders so i decided to try and kill it. well i grabbed a paper towel and attempted to grab it but it went too quick and reached the ceiling before i could reach it. so i went and grabbed on of the chairs and i got on it and stood over the counter to kill the spider. i put the paper towel up to the ceiling thinking it was gonna kill it. i missed the spider by two centimeters and it touched my thumb. i wasn't expecting it and it scared the hell outta me. i screamed, dropped the paper towel causing the spider to fall, and then i jumped clear across the kitchen. i literally was terrified. i jumped off the chair so quick that it caused the chair to lift up and then slam back down making a very loud thump. my uncle looked in the kitchen with that "what the hell just happened" expression and i was sitting there freaking out. i swear i like yeeted myself off the chair so fast that my aunt said that she saw wings. i swear i have never been more scared.