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Do I jump back on the roller coaster?

This is a very strange story and I could use some honest advicce because I have been pounding me head over this for several months and I could use some honest direction. First off lets me state that love is a complicated thing and let me also state that this story takes place when I was considerpablly younger and today I stand a real man she was much younger too. So lets keep in mind that people do change over time and since the start of this story takes place ten years ago that gives for plenty of time to change.

I don't want to go on and make this a long story but a bit about myself I dont have any family and my friends well I am shakey about them because what I have learned is that everyone wants something out of you. So I met this woman ten years ago and our first few dates were amazing and I thought that we could really have something. Then she just disappeared I later found out she was some guy and to make a long story short it ended up being a love traingle of sorts. He was abusive to her and one day she called me to help her with him I did and it happened again and she ended up staying with me and to be honest it was great but a former friend of mine got in the mix of us and broke us up.

Now Ten years later she back in my life and 100% single and she told me that she will make everything up to me and things will be better then ever if I giver her another chance what do you think? Give her another chance or pass? She didnt exactly cheat I knew he existed what it was I was young back then I didnt think like a man if I could do it all over again I would let him have her and I wouldnt have struggled to try to get her that part I am ashamed of you dont fight for a woman thats stupid.
I agree you shouldn't fight over a woman, but there are times you should put in effort for one.

Neither of these really apply to you.
Love is always a chance.
You have grown, has she?

Personally ....some things are worth the chance - just don't make someone else responsible for your happiness .

If You can both still be yourselves, but be together - then that's a good thing.
bushi2020 · 36-40, M
@BoobooSnafu Well the reason why we did break up was because of a friend getting in our relationship but their is one huge mega secret that I found out about and need some advice... That guy was her husband she was married to him but kept it secret from me. One day her phone was ringing not stop and she told whoever text her that the guy was her husband I confronted her on it and she lied and said he wasn't. After talking to her she made it sound like she married him for visa purposes so that he can stay in the country. I dont know man that just sounds off to me like why lie about it she should have told me then and we could have talked about that then.
@bushi2020 ah.
Well...i have a thing about liars: no way !

One lie destroys everything after it.

But that's only my opinion🤷‍♀️
bushi2020 · 36-40, M
@BoobooSnafu I can forgive a lie but its just she makes it seem like its no big deal and she doesnt see it as a mega lie which it is that bothers me.
OldMan70 · 70-79
Run after her and bow down in front of her and kiss her feet, asking her to give you another chance...

A similar story in my family that turned out a success..
My cousin (the older man) lost his first love to another and never found anyone like her. She re-appeared after 8 yrs but was technically still married to the other man - yet separated and heart broken and looking..
I was present when he and my Uncle had a serious and candid talk about her and my cousin's feelings for her. My Uncle told him to run to her. Ask her to forgive him for not fighting harder for her before. To fall prostrate in front of her - showing her how much he respects her - asking for her hand now..
It worked, and she moved in with him at his parent's home (she was young) until she got the legal things straight. He married her (that was what she wanted initially). They are still together after 30 yrs (I'm guessing)..
SilkandLace2 · 41-45, M
I'd probably give it another try, I did at one point in my life, but I wasn't mature enough to really put the effort into it, and I regret that 20-some years later; either way best wishes!!
LostLissa · 36-40, F
So she was married and didn't tell you?
bushi2020 · 36-40, M
@LostLissa She didn't she makes it sound like she did it for visa purposes I don't know how I feel about it. She says he was abusive and controlling and that she will do anything to make it up to me. She seems really sad and I do believe she will try to make it up to me but she needs to talk to me about this. What do you think?
LostLissa · 36-40, F
@bushi2020 if some guy was abusive and/or controlling to me he would damn sure not get a visa
bushi2020 · 36-40, M
@LostLissa She doesn't work so he had economic power over her as well. She was kind of in a situation where she had nowhere to run to or so she says. I really don't know what to believe anymore I want to believe but at the same time, I don't want to be foolish.

 
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