I Like to Be Liked

I attended a kid's 7th birthday party this afternoon. When it was about time to blow the candle and make a wish, it brought me instantly all the memories of my 7th birthday. Exactly the same spot, making a wish then blow the candle. What was my wish back then? It hunts me 'till now.

I almost ruined my whole life. I feel so numb that it makes me feel like I am a walking dead. I kiss and go to bed with any guys as long as he's not a carrier of whatever disease. I am still virgin though. I thought I was a material girl, but I was wrong. No body wanted to take care of me. I live in relationships with terms and conditions. I should keep my heart away from falling. I don't want to be stereotype but there are only two kinds of guys in my eyes right now. i. feel. so. unlove. and it doesn't matter. I have friends who come to me when they needed me. Am I too good or too bad? Do they take advantage of me or do I? Many guys told me I am beautful, but none of them really want me. Now I just feel so independent.