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I Am Thinking

In a personality contest, I will always lose. Well, I really do have nothing to offer in that department. (trying really hard to think of what qualities I actually do have...I'm coming up short...damn)
I'm a little baffled when comes to how people react to me vs how they react to my sisters. There are times people don't seem to understand that "Dude, she's making fun of you." (did I only know that because I know my sister better or are other people really not able to pick up on that or did they just like the attention my sisters gave them even if it was being made the butt of a joke? They're very pretty after all)
There are times I'm trying to help or be nice, and it's offended people or disgusted them. I'm not sure which exactly, but the reaction wasn't good.

My sisters aren't all that friendly either, but they're able to come across that way. They're naturally good with people. It really helps them when it comes to work. I don't have that easy of a time trying to be someone hireable. The only reason I have a job now is because the place I work had a skills test and my scores were awesome. I was practically already hired before the interview. That was nice because I desperately needed a job and I was messing up all my interviews. I don't come across as someone anyone wants on their team.

My sisters are great with people. I'm awkward. So is my younger sister, but her awkwardness comes across as charming and funny. I wish I knew how to do that.
If I seem jealous, it's because I am, of course. I really do wish I was better with people. Even when I'm really making an effort, it just isn't working.
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SW-User
I get where you're at. I'm a pro at awkward. Job interviews are hilarious in a totally uncomfortable way. I've been at my current job for almost seven years and I still think the only reason they hired me was because all of the members of my interview committee were on the same level of weird. Lucky me.

I'm learning to be okay with my weirdness and awkward tendencies. I'm finding that the more okay I'm am with it, the better I am at being semi-relatable. I'm not oozing confidence, but I'm finally at the point where I don't feel the need to walk on eggshells. Progress.

Just be you and do the best you can to be okay with it.
SW-User
Hmm...well, I like you. I respect your opinions. You give them without that holier-than-though attitude or the condescension.
Pretzel · 70-79, M
Totally understand.
SW-User
I think the same thing about those considered really nice people...gotta stop myself there though or I'll get stuck in a rant.
Thanks. I do try to fake shit though. It just doesn't work enough to get me a job or get my teammates to work with me. 😕
floatingintheocean · 36-40, F
I hear ya.

 
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