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I Am A Warrior Inside

Through all the shit, until death.

I don't want to elaborate, but I know what assault feels like, starving for days or more, being afraid of being homeless, loss, oh loss, death, and pain. And being alone a lot of the time through that.

I also know about accepting help, generosity, compassion, love, beauty, music, oh music, and you.

It's not done until it's done.

I was a survivor, I took it, now I do. I've leveled up. Because of you who care.

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labsrock · M

You're a strong soul 🙂

CharlieRose

@labsrock: yes. Stronger is to give it to others, not so good with that.

labsrock · M

Others are sometimes not worthy and it's been a learning process for me.

CharlieRose

@labsrock: it is for me, too. I care, but have my limits to be sane, or well, and it's OK. There's lots of fake out there. I concluded I'm not Jesus Christ, can't help everybody. But when it matters, I'd like to show more sometimes. Or accept my style, not very touchy. Unless.

labsrock · M

I agree, there are fakes in every aspect of life and it's the ones that we may get close to that can do the most damage. Help everybody? I've learned a hard lesson about that and feel not everyone is deserving. We are either givers or takers, nobody has a choice in this matter, it's who we are.

CharlieRose

@labsrock: then I'm a restrained and selective giver :) not everybody is fake though. I try not to shut all out, it's no solution either. I learned to trust my guts. Some are better than you can learn, genuinely.

labsrock · M

Consider yourself fortunate to be in that category 😇Most people are guarded to some extent because of past experience. It takes time to get a true feel for others.This is part of being selective for me. I agree that sometimes people do turn out to ne better than their initial impression made me feel.

CharlieRose

@labsrock: I am guarded. Because there's still lots of fake out there. But sometimes you find one to get close to. And maybe understand misery. Helping doesn't mean letting others in or let then ruin you.

labsrock · M

I think be guarded is healthy, it's a learned defense mechanism. The ones to get close to are rare gems indeed, the ones who we allow through the door in our wall🙂 Part of that lesson I learned has to do with givers and takers. I was doing some soul searching and i realized something that for me was an epiphany. First, I am a giver. I had always known that, but not understanding my true nature. A giver gives without being asked. We not only listen to people, we hear them. We have an empathic quality that can drain us of our energy if we're not careful. A taker will drain us dry and leave us lying on the floor. Only a giver truly knows a giver and that reciprocation is essential.

CharlieRose

@labsrock: I was like that. Still am. But I wasn't aware of it. I thought there was something wrong with me. But I'm drained by noise or light already
It is sane and unselfish, probably the most loving act, to take care of yourself and respect yourself. Working on it.

labsrock · M

Right, if we don't take care of ourselves, no one else will😉