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I Have Lots On My Mind

When I see people hang out and laugh together I feel sad, because I don't remember what it's like. My family says they care about me but they never ask to hang out anywhere, the one friend I have is busy as well. So I lay here in bed and wonder how do I live this way everyday for years and years. Nothing keeps the emptiness away, I can't seem to find a place I belong to. I will always go searching.

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NerdyPotato · M

I wish you new friends and happiness. Nobody deserves to feel this way.

SW-User

@NerdyPotato lifes comes to me this way because I chose to please others rather than me, I look after my son alone most of the time. I often have to be the first one to contact others, but I don't expect others to be there for me anymore. I'm not trying to sound pitiful btw, I just write what I feel, it's easier than keeping it to myself.

NerdyPotato · M

@SW-User Have you ever considered focusing a bit more on yourself? I'm kinda the same way, so I understand it's difficult, but you can can still please others most of the time while taking care of yourself when needed.

SW-User

@NerdyPotato That's a good question actually, but how do you mean that practically(focusing on myself)? I'm not sure where to start.

NerdyPotato · M

@SW-User You can start with very little things. Buy yourself a nice gift or some snacks. Take some time for yourself to do things you enjoy. And later on you can start asking yourself whether other people really need the things they ask from you and consider saying no once in a while.

SW-User

@NerdyPotato ok I see what you mean, my issue is not getting used by people, but simply I don't exist to them when I need them the most. I don't think I have low self-esteem but low expectations of life.

NerdyPotato · M

@SW-User I see. That's a whole different issue indeed. You can't really force people to check in with you, so then it's just a matter of luck to bump into someone who really cares.

SW-User

@NerdyPotato indeed 😅

NerdyPotato · M

@SW-User If it helps, you seem like a cool person and I would love to get to know you better.

SW-User

@NerdyPotato sure, I don't mind talking.