I Learned A Lesson
Friends & Speaking Up:
Hey the SW world, recently I been learning my lesson in friendship and I want to share this. I want to share this because for many reasons. Since two of those reasons is to see if anyone feels the same as me or if anyone else has have this issue and I want to see how they did it. I am posting this so I can connect with other who are similar.
Sometimes lessons can be learned anywhere. For me this lesson was experienced on SW actually. What happened was I had two friends who I met online when SW was still new. One was a girl, the other a boy. And everything they said to me, was felt down into the core of my soul. It was like looking into a mirror because we were so similar. However as time pasted by something didn't sit right with me when it came to them. Something was off and it bothered me so much. However, I didn't like speaking up at the time. I was too scared of losing them. I finally found two other people just like me! I couldn't and wouldn't the slightest thing to upset them, but what was bothering me only grew worse. So since I wouldn't say anything, I let them both slip away from me. Maybe later things would change and this way no one got hurt. It was for the best, or so I thought.
Later on I found my best friend, who made my world feel a little less lonely. One day depression hit me and it hit me hard. For people who don't know, depression can bring out the worst in people sometimes. Including me. I full of anger and I lashed out to my best friend. However, they didn't run, didn't fight back, and didn't do anything really but say, "I understand." I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. No one in my life has every stayed after a harsh depression episode, until now that is. Still filled with anger I remember two friends. Those to I could have made my best friends, they were that close to me but I knew I wasn't anything in their eyes. So with anger in hand I confronted them about how I felt.
Deep down while I was typing my messages I was scared to this. I was scared I would lose them. The two people who could have been my everything. Then I remembered that I had one best friends, and one is all I need in life. After realizing this, I sent that message and it felt amazing. It feel so good inside to say how I felt and how I was feeling for once in my life. The girl sent me a message back saying that she was sorry but I changed too much for her. So she didn't want to be my friend anymore. No, what changed was that I wanted to be friends while she wanted a "Yes Man" in her life telling her how everyone else was wrong. I was upset, and a little hurt, but I felt good about speaking my feeling that I didn't really care. "So what and so long", I thought to myself, "I still have my best friend and now I am going to talk to another."
Moments after the girl left me, I got a reply from the guy. He was angry at me too and said some hurtful stuff. I went ballistic on him for that and I was holding the door for him to leave me too. But he didn't. Instead of him leaving he wrote my back saying how sorry he was for mistreating me and that he was just scared of getting hurt. Not the reply I was expecting! So I told him, "It's okay, I forgive you." I understood that he was just acting on his feelings. I couldn't blame him for that when there I was doing the same! Right there I was depressed and angry sending messages to people who I had issues with. So I really had no right to judge him. We talked after and he is still part of my life.
Side story, recently I was attacked and you know who was there for me? He was right there by my side helping me while my best friend was busy. I fell apart emotionally and mentally, but there he was putting me back together. Oh and don't think bad about my best friend not being there when I need someone. He came RUNNING for me when he could get to me and double checked that I was fine. Yeah sometimes it doesn't matter when people are there for you. It just matters that they are there. Anyway, moral of this main story is that you can't really have a friendship with someone if you don't speak up. There are to types of true friends. One will hear you out and all you have to say. The other will not leave you but fight until the end with you. Luckily I have both.
Never be scared to speak up when something is bothering you with a friend. Sure they may leave but if they leave you then they aren't really your friend. Sometimes, it won't work out for you but if you take a risk, it could be better then you ever dreamed it could be. Thanks for reading and tell me, do you speak up or do you keep quiet? Tell me in the comments below!
Hey the SW world, recently I been learning my lesson in friendship and I want to share this. I want to share this because for many reasons. Since two of those reasons is to see if anyone feels the same as me or if anyone else has have this issue and I want to see how they did it. I am posting this so I can connect with other who are similar.
Sometimes lessons can be learned anywhere. For me this lesson was experienced on SW actually. What happened was I had two friends who I met online when SW was still new. One was a girl, the other a boy. And everything they said to me, was felt down into the core of my soul. It was like looking into a mirror because we were so similar. However as time pasted by something didn't sit right with me when it came to them. Something was off and it bothered me so much. However, I didn't like speaking up at the time. I was too scared of losing them. I finally found two other people just like me! I couldn't and wouldn't the slightest thing to upset them, but what was bothering me only grew worse. So since I wouldn't say anything, I let them both slip away from me. Maybe later things would change and this way no one got hurt. It was for the best, or so I thought.
Later on I found my best friend, who made my world feel a little less lonely. One day depression hit me and it hit me hard. For people who don't know, depression can bring out the worst in people sometimes. Including me. I full of anger and I lashed out to my best friend. However, they didn't run, didn't fight back, and didn't do anything really but say, "I understand." I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. No one in my life has every stayed after a harsh depression episode, until now that is. Still filled with anger I remember two friends. Those to I could have made my best friends, they were that close to me but I knew I wasn't anything in their eyes. So with anger in hand I confronted them about how I felt.
Deep down while I was typing my messages I was scared to this. I was scared I would lose them. The two people who could have been my everything. Then I remembered that I had one best friends, and one is all I need in life. After realizing this, I sent that message and it felt amazing. It feel so good inside to say how I felt and how I was feeling for once in my life. The girl sent me a message back saying that she was sorry but I changed too much for her. So she didn't want to be my friend anymore. No, what changed was that I wanted to be friends while she wanted a "Yes Man" in her life telling her how everyone else was wrong. I was upset, and a little hurt, but I felt good about speaking my feeling that I didn't really care. "So what and so long", I thought to myself, "I still have my best friend and now I am going to talk to another."
Moments after the girl left me, I got a reply from the guy. He was angry at me too and said some hurtful stuff. I went ballistic on him for that and I was holding the door for him to leave me too. But he didn't. Instead of him leaving he wrote my back saying how sorry he was for mistreating me and that he was just scared of getting hurt. Not the reply I was expecting! So I told him, "It's okay, I forgive you." I understood that he was just acting on his feelings. I couldn't blame him for that when there I was doing the same! Right there I was depressed and angry sending messages to people who I had issues with. So I really had no right to judge him. We talked after and he is still part of my life.
Side story, recently I was attacked and you know who was there for me? He was right there by my side helping me while my best friend was busy. I fell apart emotionally and mentally, but there he was putting me back together. Oh and don't think bad about my best friend not being there when I need someone. He came RUNNING for me when he could get to me and double checked that I was fine. Yeah sometimes it doesn't matter when people are there for you. It just matters that they are there. Anyway, moral of this main story is that you can't really have a friendship with someone if you don't speak up. There are to types of true friends. One will hear you out and all you have to say. The other will not leave you but fight until the end with you. Luckily I have both.
Never be scared to speak up when something is bothering you with a friend. Sure they may leave but if they leave you then they aren't really your friend. Sometimes, it won't work out for you but if you take a risk, it could be better then you ever dreamed it could be. Thanks for reading and tell me, do you speak up or do you keep quiet? Tell me in the comments below!
31-35, M
