I Fear Rejection
Well another chapter to add to my shit storm of a life! I had been abusing pills and some alcohol. I’ve been recently cutting again, and I recently ended my services with my main therapist (which I know kinda wish I shouldn't have if, I knew this is what the healthcare system is like). I gotten into a car accident near the end on November which also triggered my depression and caused me extreme trauma. I didn’t even have it in me to go to the appointment, I had to ask my brother to take me. Also since it was December most of the hospitals and such were closed for the holidays so I had been looking and searching for psychiatrist hospitals and I found one called Copper Spring (do not go here). Which is also so convenient for me, of course I get hit during the time when no one is open to help me, great.
The other hospitals I found had poor rating and were too far away but I thought this hospital was going to be able to help me with get better. And my insurance wouldn't cover outpatient fee so I had the inpatient option, but apparently I am not sick enough or mentally unstable enough (it was barely even a doctor evaluation) to seek treatment as a inpatient. Apparently taking sleeping pills and zoloft with alcohol didn’t count as a addiction cause apparently they can’t treat pill addiction. Which made no sense to me because I thought pills were classified as a abusive addictive drug under the Drug abuse association, but I guess not. I knew I should’ve not gone to that clinic, someone from their customer service line yelled at me on the phone because I reschedule a lot. Even though I barely have the ability to go to work due to my car situation.
Funny thing is when I was 15/16 years old I was going to get admitted to a psych hospital due to my cutting the doctors saw. The doctor immediately saw my cuts and recommended me treatment to the clinic right away and this facility is not. Anyways I most likely am gonna write them a letter to explain my anger. Thanking for reading this far
The other hospitals I found had poor rating and were too far away but I thought this hospital was going to be able to help me with get better. And my insurance wouldn't cover outpatient fee so I had the inpatient option, but apparently I am not sick enough or mentally unstable enough (it was barely even a doctor evaluation) to seek treatment as a inpatient. Apparently taking sleeping pills and zoloft with alcohol didn’t count as a addiction cause apparently they can’t treat pill addiction. Which made no sense to me because I thought pills were classified as a abusive addictive drug under the Drug abuse association, but I guess not. I knew I should’ve not gone to that clinic, someone from their customer service line yelled at me on the phone because I reschedule a lot. Even though I barely have the ability to go to work due to my car situation.
Funny thing is when I was 15/16 years old I was going to get admitted to a psych hospital due to my cutting the doctors saw. The doctor immediately saw my cuts and recommended me treatment to the clinic right away and this facility is not. Anyways I most likely am gonna write them a letter to explain my anger. Thanking for reading this far
22-25, F
