I Am Blessed Beyond Measure
[big][b][i] Forgiveness, a shield against your adversaries and the restoration of a broken soul...[/i][/b][/big]
I remember casting myself out from civilization and trekking into the Texas wilderness. The trees were thick, venomous weavers dangled on their webs, rattlesnakes and lions dwelled here as well. It was a blessing I never came across any of them in my path. Though, I wished [i]something[/i] could have ended me right then. Nothing came, opportunity missed.
Two hours later, I reached a clearing. Laid out before me was an arid desert and hills with jagged cliff faces. Brush was getting scarce and the sun was at it's peak. I spotted a single oak tree resisting the death around it in the middle of the unhabital sands and dried river beds. It was a beautiful unforgiving place. [i]Perfect,[/i] I thought.
Every step I took towards the tree got heavier as the sand below my footing kept falling away. This struggle ebbed at my will to fight against it all. This was it. The end of the road. I was going to finally give them what they wanted, a cease to my existence. So, I collapsed amidst the sand and rock while the sun scorched my body. I closed my eyes under the intense heat and my fingertips glided along my skin: bruises, cuts, gashes, scabs, and scars. A few tears squeezed out of my eyes at the touch. Echoes from ten years of pain flooded throughout my system, the [i]real[/i] war wounds, in my memory.
Bleeding sadness, anger, worthlessness and the yearning of a broken heart consumed my soul. The plethora shattered my will to live and nothing could save me now. I was to be counted among the dead soon because symptoms of severe dehydration set in, skin felt charred to a crisp, and howls of the wild things got even closer. They were stalking their prey for the day. [i]Good, finish me... [/i]
Suddenly, my mind became still and my heart changed.
[b]I went home.[/b]
[big][b][i]What changed? How are you still alive? [/i][/b][/big]
On the brink of my own death I came to a realization: I had to forgive and let go, [i]truly [/i] let go, before I can start living again. My life depended on it then and now, but it's so easily said than done! How can you actually let go of ten years in hell? How can you let go of all the injustices? That's bull****!!!
[b][i]No...[/i][/b]I'm living proof that it's possible.
I held so much bitterness, hatred against the world and myself, anger, rage, fear and sadness from the injustices done to me. I couldn't even function! Discovering the true meaning of forgiveness saved my life marking a pivitol moment I will never forget. The power of this tool is exceptional, it is a miracle in itself!
[big][b][i]What is the true meaning? How can I let go? [/i][/b][/big]
Everyone says, "Forgiveness is not for them but for you." That's true even though [b]NO ONE ACTUALLY BELIEVES OR UNDERSTANDS THE GRAVITY OF THAT STATEMENT![/b] You don't know how to forgive, you might not have tried to before or you don't understand. Whatever the reason, I will teach you. Are you ready?
[i]Forgiveness means acceptance, letting it go, and starting anew. [/i]
It looks like this:
[c=#BF0000]I have been under torment for ten years.
All of the people who hurt me are either out of my life and/or they're daily reminders of my suffering.
From this point on, I give them all a clean slate.
This means no grudges, no ill treatment/malice towards them, no more hatred.
What they did wasn't right, I am not giving them a free pass to hurt me again, but for my own sanity I am letting it go.
If they realize what they've done, said they're sorry, want to rebuild our relationship, and have changed their ways then I will let them BUT WITH BOUNDARIES.
If they do not and have no intention on changing, I am letting them go. They're imperfect, it's not their fault, but they're no good to me anymore.
Everything that has happened to me is in the past now where it should be.
[i] None of it matters anymore!!! [/i][/c]
[big][b][i] What happens now? I still feel hurt... [/i][/b][/big]
Trauma, hardships and the like are harder to get over. Give yourself grace because you are literally trying to change the way you think. You will have reoccurring thoughts and feelings of the events. That's O.K.! Acknowledge it, forgive the person/accept the situation that caused it, and realize it's a new day for you. Your past is erased.
It takes practice my friends! I certainly didn't conquer the majority of my problems in one day. It took at least a week and still I am having fallout of intense emotional swings and flatlined apathy(trauma in other aspects of my life as well). Fortunately, I was able to witness the power of having a forgiving heart, [b]my past has been forgotten! [/b]
[i]Seriously...[/i]
I cannot remember for the life of me the vivid details/pain of the torment I had endured for so long! The only thing I know is [i]what[/i] happened. "Forgive and forget" was my miracle and I want it to be yours too!
Please practice forgiveness, no matter how hard it gets, and be patient. Show yourself love and grace in this. You deserve to have your life in the present, not stuck in the past!
❤[c=#BF0000][i]With much love, ArmyOfOne.[/i][/c]❤
I remember casting myself out from civilization and trekking into the Texas wilderness. The trees were thick, venomous weavers dangled on their webs, rattlesnakes and lions dwelled here as well. It was a blessing I never came across any of them in my path. Though, I wished [i]something[/i] could have ended me right then. Nothing came, opportunity missed.
Two hours later, I reached a clearing. Laid out before me was an arid desert and hills with jagged cliff faces. Brush was getting scarce and the sun was at it's peak. I spotted a single oak tree resisting the death around it in the middle of the unhabital sands and dried river beds. It was a beautiful unforgiving place. [i]Perfect,[/i] I thought.
Every step I took towards the tree got heavier as the sand below my footing kept falling away. This struggle ebbed at my will to fight against it all. This was it. The end of the road. I was going to finally give them what they wanted, a cease to my existence. So, I collapsed amidst the sand and rock while the sun scorched my body. I closed my eyes under the intense heat and my fingertips glided along my skin: bruises, cuts, gashes, scabs, and scars. A few tears squeezed out of my eyes at the touch. Echoes from ten years of pain flooded throughout my system, the [i]real[/i] war wounds, in my memory.
Bleeding sadness, anger, worthlessness and the yearning of a broken heart consumed my soul. The plethora shattered my will to live and nothing could save me now. I was to be counted among the dead soon because symptoms of severe dehydration set in, skin felt charred to a crisp, and howls of the wild things got even closer. They were stalking their prey for the day. [i]Good, finish me... [/i]
Suddenly, my mind became still and my heart changed.
[b]I went home.[/b]
[big][b][i]What changed? How are you still alive? [/i][/b][/big]
On the brink of my own death I came to a realization: I had to forgive and let go, [i]truly [/i] let go, before I can start living again. My life depended on it then and now, but it's so easily said than done! How can you actually let go of ten years in hell? How can you let go of all the injustices? That's bull****!!!
[b][i]No...[/i][/b]I'm living proof that it's possible.
I held so much bitterness, hatred against the world and myself, anger, rage, fear and sadness from the injustices done to me. I couldn't even function! Discovering the true meaning of forgiveness saved my life marking a pivitol moment I will never forget. The power of this tool is exceptional, it is a miracle in itself!
[big][b][i]What is the true meaning? How can I let go? [/i][/b][/big]
Everyone says, "Forgiveness is not for them but for you." That's true even though [b]NO ONE ACTUALLY BELIEVES OR UNDERSTANDS THE GRAVITY OF THAT STATEMENT![/b] You don't know how to forgive, you might not have tried to before or you don't understand. Whatever the reason, I will teach you. Are you ready?
[i]Forgiveness means acceptance, letting it go, and starting anew. [/i]
It looks like this:
[c=#BF0000]I have been under torment for ten years.
All of the people who hurt me are either out of my life and/or they're daily reminders of my suffering.
From this point on, I give them all a clean slate.
This means no grudges, no ill treatment/malice towards them, no more hatred.
What they did wasn't right, I am not giving them a free pass to hurt me again, but for my own sanity I am letting it go.
If they realize what they've done, said they're sorry, want to rebuild our relationship, and have changed their ways then I will let them BUT WITH BOUNDARIES.
If they do not and have no intention on changing, I am letting them go. They're imperfect, it's not their fault, but they're no good to me anymore.
Everything that has happened to me is in the past now where it should be.
[i] None of it matters anymore!!! [/i][/c]
[big][b][i] What happens now? I still feel hurt... [/i][/b][/big]
Trauma, hardships and the like are harder to get over. Give yourself grace because you are literally trying to change the way you think. You will have reoccurring thoughts and feelings of the events. That's O.K.! Acknowledge it, forgive the person/accept the situation that caused it, and realize it's a new day for you. Your past is erased.
It takes practice my friends! I certainly didn't conquer the majority of my problems in one day. It took at least a week and still I am having fallout of intense emotional swings and flatlined apathy(trauma in other aspects of my life as well). Fortunately, I was able to witness the power of having a forgiving heart, [b]my past has been forgotten! [/b]
[i]Seriously...[/i]
I cannot remember for the life of me the vivid details/pain of the torment I had endured for so long! The only thing I know is [i]what[/i] happened. "Forgive and forget" was my miracle and I want it to be yours too!
Please practice forgiveness, no matter how hard it gets, and be patient. Show yourself love and grace in this. You deserve to have your life in the present, not stuck in the past!
❤[c=#BF0000][i]With much love, ArmyOfOne.[/i][/c]❤
