I Think I Am Just Going To Write Stuff

All my friends are sleeping now and I just can't stop thinking. I don't even know what I'm thinking of, the only thing that I know is that I can't turn my mind off. It's 5:37 am and I'm alone in my friend dad's bed. This bed is too big and I can see the sky from here. Its cloudy, but I find it perfect anyway. The sky is like my mind right now. Today, when I realized I've 'lost' another friend I remember how much friends I left behind. And now I can't stop think about my last bff, the one that I've loved for 2 years... I can say that I truly forgot him, when I see his pictures I don't have butterflies on my stomach, but you know? I still have a lot of memories in my mind. Like the way he held my hand, the way he hugged me, the way we could talk for hours about nothing, the way that he understood me when I needed to spend time with his ex but my other bff, the way he talked to me about the person that he was in love (yes, and I was a fool and thought she was me), the way he suddenly stopped talking to me, the way I cried every night for 2 years, the way I regretted not telling him that I loved him... But that is the past now, I don't want to find someone like him, I want to find someone better who replace all my memories for new experiences, I want to find someone who love me back with all my defects. I don't want to feel that the bed is so big again, I need someone who watch the sky with me and if it's cloudy tells me that above those clouds there's always a BLUE SKY.