I Love to Love and Be Loved
(kudos to people who take the time to read this through!)
I woke this morning with a desire to write, and this past year there's very little I've wanted to write that hasn't involved grief and loss. I'm not a public griever. I don't prefer to be in the limelight even when I want people to care so I've spent a lot of time alone the past 11 months.
It's said that love has no reason or practicality. I would say that is so when it comes to lust, desire and romance. It is all encompassing and in our minds pure. This part of love doesn't last forever. It doesn't always go away but it does change over time. A more permanent love takes hold, and it might not always be pretty or beneficial or glorious, but can stretch time and eternity if the two desire it to.
Love rarely ends with a single event. If not cultivated through its many different expressions it will over time erode. Or maybe it is true that everyone we have ever loved remains in us. If the feelings were true then the bond that existed remains at that fixed moment in time, when two people freely gave themselves over to another. We know in our hearts when something was solid and real, and not simply a passing flight of fancy. We know it without being able to fully explain it.
I love LOVE, and yet personally I've loved (romantically) very few people in my 47 years. I don't come to it easily, and am dragged away from it kicking and screaming. Once I am there I don't want to let it go nor deal with the pain of it. I wait patiently and chose carefully. That being said, I also deeply respect ALL expressions of love be it parent to child or friend to to friend. A new lesson I've learned in the past year of grief is that my understanding of love is growing and changing. I am far from an expert and I doubt anyone could ever be. I am sure as I go on it will evolve as I continue to experience it in it's many different ways.
-Raven
I woke this morning with a desire to write, and this past year there's very little I've wanted to write that hasn't involved grief and loss. I'm not a public griever. I don't prefer to be in the limelight even when I want people to care so I've spent a lot of time alone the past 11 months.
It's said that love has no reason or practicality. I would say that is so when it comes to lust, desire and romance. It is all encompassing and in our minds pure. This part of love doesn't last forever. It doesn't always go away but it does change over time. A more permanent love takes hold, and it might not always be pretty or beneficial or glorious, but can stretch time and eternity if the two desire it to.
Love rarely ends with a single event. If not cultivated through its many different expressions it will over time erode. Or maybe it is true that everyone we have ever loved remains in us. If the feelings were true then the bond that existed remains at that fixed moment in time, when two people freely gave themselves over to another. We know in our hearts when something was solid and real, and not simply a passing flight of fancy. We know it without being able to fully explain it.
I love LOVE, and yet personally I've loved (romantically) very few people in my 47 years. I don't come to it easily, and am dragged away from it kicking and screaming. Once I am there I don't want to let it go nor deal with the pain of it. I wait patiently and chose carefully. That being said, I also deeply respect ALL expressions of love be it parent to child or friend to to friend. A new lesson I've learned in the past year of grief is that my understanding of love is growing and changing. I am far from an expert and I doubt anyone could ever be. I am sure as I go on it will evolve as I continue to experience it in it's many different ways.
-Raven
51-55, F
