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I Don't Understand

I'm starting to feel it again. My words fail me, I'm alone & I'm hurt, without someone to turn to. So I'm just here, hurting, but not crying, until I fall asleep or am distracted.

Honestly, I've probably just been distracted for a while, because this has been going on for a while, but only now can I not escape, so I'll post something on Similarworlds, maybe get some sympathy, maybe get some tough love, and then I'll mostly forget about this, like I normally do.

Dread.

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Abbenthewarwolf · 18-21, M

Just go ahead and cry

Winterwanderer · 26-30, M

Trust me, I want to, I just.. don't know how to.

Abbenthewarwolf · 18-21, M

@Winterwanderer: just let it go

Winterwanderer · 26-30, M

I don't even know what that means honestly, like, I'm not holding back, the tears just aren't coming out. Maybe I'm just used to it, or maybe I'm still hiding myself, even to myself.

Abbenthewarwolf · 18-21, M

@Winterwanderer: think about what made you cry the last time, relive it

Winterwanderer · 26-30, M

I'm thinking about it now, but that doesn't trigger emotion in me

Abbenthewarwolf · 18-21, M

@Winterwanderer: relive the whole experience

Winterwanderer · 26-30, M

I can't, as you say, relive experiences, that doesn't happen to me.

Abbenthewarwolf · 18-21, M

@Winterwanderer: you are just scared to. I'm sure you cried alot when you was little

Winterwanderer · 26-30, M

Not really, only when I was punished. I hurt a lot as a kid though... why didn't I cry? Even as a kid?

I think we may have found a psychological thing.

I'm not scared or fearful right now, I don't think that's my issue.

Abbenthewarwolf · 18-21, M

@Winterwanderer: when you do finally cry you will cry a very long long time. Probably everyday after. Good luck

Winterwanderer · 26-30, M

Actually, I did that once, I just started crying for one reason, & then I kept crying for every reason.