I Am Tired Of Feeling Unwell
I am tired of life in general.
Appointment after appointment a different diagnosis each time with no definitive answers, I am diagnosed with 6 what I call "invisibility disability's" which are conditions that disable me but no-one can see, and no-one other than the doctors believe me. Everyone thinks I'm being a drama queen. I wish they could feel what I feel! I don't feel sorry for myself because I know I'm lucky I can pass for 'normal' but sometimes it gets me down because I am always in pain, and thanks to my latest diagnoses of B12 and Iron deficient anaemia and vitamin D deficiency the pain is worse, and so is the tiredness, I'm just so exhausted, but with the insomnia I can't sleep and with the Lumbar and trapezius spasms I can't even lie down, even typing is hurting horrendously and I'm just wondering where it ends? I've tried yoga, doing my physio, changing my diet, scheduled sleeping, exercise programmes, but everything still hurts, I'm still exhausted and people keep pushing me to be better. To be like them. To be the one who stands on the bus for the elderly person, when I'm probably finding it harder to stand than they are, but I have to be a good girl and not show it because that's what the world expects from me, and perhaps that is the most draining part of it all.
Appointment after appointment a different diagnosis each time with no definitive answers, I am diagnosed with 6 what I call "invisibility disability's" which are conditions that disable me but no-one can see, and no-one other than the doctors believe me. Everyone thinks I'm being a drama queen. I wish they could feel what I feel! I don't feel sorry for myself because I know I'm lucky I can pass for 'normal' but sometimes it gets me down because I am always in pain, and thanks to my latest diagnoses of B12 and Iron deficient anaemia and vitamin D deficiency the pain is worse, and so is the tiredness, I'm just so exhausted, but with the insomnia I can't sleep and with the Lumbar and trapezius spasms I can't even lie down, even typing is hurting horrendously and I'm just wondering where it ends? I've tried yoga, doing my physio, changing my diet, scheduled sleeping, exercise programmes, but everything still hurts, I'm still exhausted and people keep pushing me to be better. To be like them. To be the one who stands on the bus for the elderly person, when I'm probably finding it harder to stand than they are, but I have to be a good girl and not show it because that's what the world expects from me, and perhaps that is the most draining part of it all.
26-30, T
