I Am a Senior Over 70
I am 72 years old. I am living in one rented room on a small pension. I have a lot of trouble doing some simple things like making my bed or washing my floor. I still drive and have a near perfect driving record. I have no family (was an only child, never married, most friends dead, some moved far away). I am living in a new community out here in the CA desert. I am lonely and feel I need a change in my living situation.
Unlike most old folks, I do not have anyone to sit down with me and help me assess my options and possibilities when it comes to adapting to my situation. I have considered hiring a private social worker to help me but have decided I really cannot afford it (I checked out one and she charges $150 an hour!) So I have to figure this out myself, confusion, mixed feelings, low income and all.
It took me months of thinking and reading and researching on the Internet and in person before I reluctantly came to the conclusion that I probably need to go into a home, ideally an independent living situation, not an actual nursing home. I probably need to be in a place that provides housework, some (or maybe just one) meals, help with things that involve getting up on a ladder or heavy lifting. I've come to the conclusion that I need to be around people even though I am not typical of most old folks (I am bored with cards and bingo, don't like shopping malls, hate a lot of structured activities...)
It was hard coming to the realization that I probably need to move into a senior community. I really sweated this decision. It has been doubly hard because of the loneliness, no one to discuss it with, no help.
After coming to this decision, I made the mistake of asking my niece to help me; she is 1000 miles away. I asked her to look for a place for me in my area, one I could afford. She is very busy so she just put my name down on a list for some agency....and the telemarketers got hold of me and phoned me from 8 AM to 8 PM nonstop. It actually made me ill. They were all trying to sell me stuff I did not want, or get me to take the tour at places I had already ruled out. If I hung up on them, they called me right back. I was in tears before I realized I needed to get tough; I told the agency I would sue them for harrassment if they kept me on their list.
Then I began searching on my own. And that's when I realized my decision to put myself in a retirement home was useless because...I can't afford anything!!! I got very depressed about this. I did find one home that I could just barely afford but it was way out in a distant rural area hundreds of miles from anyone I know. Finally, after agonizing over it for about a month, I decided I really had to consider it because I couldn't find anyplace else in my price range. So I went back to their website only to discover that...they'd raised their prices by $350 more a month! thus pricing me way out of their facility.
I have been so depressed about this that I've been unable to function for the last 3 days. I just stayed in bed and slept off my depression, waking up now,and then and crying or grinding my teeth and swearing in frustration.
All the prices for retirement homes are through the roof and up in the stratosphere. All housing and rents everywhere in the country (USA) are soaring; they won't be going down anytime soon.
So...now I've cried, screamed into a pillow (I'm in a thin walled rooming house) pounded my fists, cursed all landlords, banks, the real estate industry and the entire housing shortage...grrr....!!!
And now it's time to change my plans once again. It seems I will have to, somehow, make other arrangements. No affordable home is available, not anywhere, unless I go to Mexico or some other foreign country (I'm reluctantly considering it).
So I am alone, on a low income (I am a retired school teacher who had my Soc. Sec. taken away by the Windfall Provision Act which was passed after I became a teacher). It seems clear I will have to make it entirely on my own.
At this point, I am open to moving anywhere, or just trying to make it as I am with some hired help (can afford very little). I already get some of my meals delivered (Nutrisystem). I pay a maid (who already comes to the rooming house once a month) to sweep and wash my floor. I can do my own laundry.
But I want more comfort, more care and more people around. The guys who live in my rooming house are not very friendly, and some of them obviously resent having a woman here. (I share a bathroom with 2 guys). I do go to a church so I see people once a week, but after a year of living in a town that seems to have no single people in it, I have yet to make any real friends. Yes, I DO talk to people, and I am friendly but it's hard to make friends when you are older.
Ideas or thoughts and comments will be appreciated. (Only please do not tell me to go to a public senior center; I've seen these places and they are filled with Alzheimer's patients in wheel chairs and a few checkerboards, not for me).
Anyone else out there in my situation? Struggling seniors, how are you coping? Any ideas? Right now, my future looks bleak and scary.
Unlike most old folks, I do not have anyone to sit down with me and help me assess my options and possibilities when it comes to adapting to my situation. I have considered hiring a private social worker to help me but have decided I really cannot afford it (I checked out one and she charges $150 an hour!) So I have to figure this out myself, confusion, mixed feelings, low income and all.
It took me months of thinking and reading and researching on the Internet and in person before I reluctantly came to the conclusion that I probably need to go into a home, ideally an independent living situation, not an actual nursing home. I probably need to be in a place that provides housework, some (or maybe just one) meals, help with things that involve getting up on a ladder or heavy lifting. I've come to the conclusion that I need to be around people even though I am not typical of most old folks (I am bored with cards and bingo, don't like shopping malls, hate a lot of structured activities...)
It was hard coming to the realization that I probably need to move into a senior community. I really sweated this decision. It has been doubly hard because of the loneliness, no one to discuss it with, no help.
After coming to this decision, I made the mistake of asking my niece to help me; she is 1000 miles away. I asked her to look for a place for me in my area, one I could afford. She is very busy so she just put my name down on a list for some agency....and the telemarketers got hold of me and phoned me from 8 AM to 8 PM nonstop. It actually made me ill. They were all trying to sell me stuff I did not want, or get me to take the tour at places I had already ruled out. If I hung up on them, they called me right back. I was in tears before I realized I needed to get tough; I told the agency I would sue them for harrassment if they kept me on their list.
Then I began searching on my own. And that's when I realized my decision to put myself in a retirement home was useless because...I can't afford anything!!! I got very depressed about this. I did find one home that I could just barely afford but it was way out in a distant rural area hundreds of miles from anyone I know. Finally, after agonizing over it for about a month, I decided I really had to consider it because I couldn't find anyplace else in my price range. So I went back to their website only to discover that...they'd raised their prices by $350 more a month! thus pricing me way out of their facility.
I have been so depressed about this that I've been unable to function for the last 3 days. I just stayed in bed and slept off my depression, waking up now,and then and crying or grinding my teeth and swearing in frustration.
All the prices for retirement homes are through the roof and up in the stratosphere. All housing and rents everywhere in the country (USA) are soaring; they won't be going down anytime soon.
So...now I've cried, screamed into a pillow (I'm in a thin walled rooming house) pounded my fists, cursed all landlords, banks, the real estate industry and the entire housing shortage...grrr....!!!
And now it's time to change my plans once again. It seems I will have to, somehow, make other arrangements. No affordable home is available, not anywhere, unless I go to Mexico or some other foreign country (I'm reluctantly considering it).
So I am alone, on a low income (I am a retired school teacher who had my Soc. Sec. taken away by the Windfall Provision Act which was passed after I became a teacher). It seems clear I will have to make it entirely on my own.
At this point, I am open to moving anywhere, or just trying to make it as I am with some hired help (can afford very little). I already get some of my meals delivered (Nutrisystem). I pay a maid (who already comes to the rooming house once a month) to sweep and wash my floor. I can do my own laundry.
But I want more comfort, more care and more people around. The guys who live in my rooming house are not very friendly, and some of them obviously resent having a woman here. (I share a bathroom with 2 guys). I do go to a church so I see people once a week, but after a year of living in a town that seems to have no single people in it, I have yet to make any real friends. Yes, I DO talk to people, and I am friendly but it's hard to make friends when you are older.
Ideas or thoughts and comments will be appreciated. (Only please do not tell me to go to a public senior center; I've seen these places and they are filled with Alzheimer's patients in wheel chairs and a few checkerboards, not for me).
Anyone else out there in my situation? Struggling seniors, how are you coping? Any ideas? Right now, my future looks bleak and scary.
70-79, F
