I Loved Someone That Didn't Love Me

Through all of the misunderstandings critism and being kicked when I was down, through all of the oppression and accusations and deception. And even though you turned on me and violated my child and rejected me. I forgive you......And can still feel love in my heart. No I was never selfish loving you romantically....I loved my husband in that way...and have respect for your marriage as well.. but my love means for your best, a respect and protection. as angry as I am about our circumstances that were way out of control.... I can truly say that I understand and I do forgive you....and with a warm and understanding heart I can honestly say that I still love you......Not because it's the right thing to do, that was then this is now, but mostly because I forgive you. Not that you ever wanted my love or forgiveness and trust anyway. You always believed in the deception and pushed me away... you didn't want me to love you. You thought I was too fat. So I'll give my love to other people and I will always intend on getting it right even though something truly evil lurks and wishes to make me look bad when I know I'm not, it is. I now know what life is all about and I will fight for a better world and I do want to make a connection with other people, I wish I wasn't so afraid to make friends for fear that my burden may be too heavy for them to bare and the deception is quick witted before I ever get a chance to anylize the truth......For now I'm living the dream being a loving wife and mother to my family.........I don't know if I'll ever win the battles but I know and love the one who won the war.