I Wonder If We All Expect Too Much From Relationships

Why can't what we have, right here, right now, be enough? You say I'm not "in love" with you as though that is a bad thing, although, in fact, I DO LOVE you. Being "in love" is the big dopamine flood ...that chemical high...which wears off in 6-8 months (honeymoon phase) and reality sets in. A fantasy bond (in love) offers a false sense of security—the illusion that we are no longer alone. However, when we connect to someone in this way, we lose our sense of vitality, and we give up significant aspects of our relationship. The behavioral operations of love are replaced with a fantasy of being in love, which does not nurture either partner.

I do not want that kind of love. It never lasts. It's never realistic & most always ends up being one-sided & then someone is alway blindsided and heartbroken.

At my age, I'm only interested in consistency, loyalty, respect & stability.
I want to have a grounded, resilient kind of love that is present regardless of whether or not we are in a disagreement, in the same room as each other, living separately or living together.

True love liberates. It makes the person that you love more themselves than they’ve ever been. It helps them move towards their authentic selves and away from their masks, should-thinking, and compromising.

Now, I'm just feeling like I'm not enough for you. Not exciting enough for you. To me, that's a huge red flag of someone who isn't happy and is eventually going to leave.