I Live In a Small Town

I live in a small rural town, most people who live here were born here. I’ve spent my holidays there all my life and moved here 6 years ago after living abroad for 8 years. I spent a lot of my life moving around but this was the one place I always came back to, it was the only constant in my life. When I moved here It was the first time I didn’t live within the anonymity of a city, it kind of scared me. But I adapted, I was happy and for the first time I felt like I belonged…that was an amazing feeling. It was here that for the first time in ten years I stayed in the same house for over a year and the same country/city for over 2 years.

It’s not all been easy…or good. After a year I began a relationship with a local girl, she eventually moved in but two years down the road the relationship ended. I found myself living in a house where my landlord was her sister, surfing and playing football with friends who in one way or another were related to her…it was awkward. The claustrophobia can be hard to handle. Some years ago a friend of mine, who was a local, committed suicide. I was at work when I got the first call telling me he died;
Then another call…….he committed suicide
Then another call….how he committed suicide
Then more calls…..asking me if I knew anything more, his reasons, how he was lately.
I thought it couldn’t get worse but when I got home people kept coming to my house telling me things (specifics) that I didn’t want to know and asking me things with a weird gleam in their eye…a hunger for details, a hope of finding out something no one else knew when in fact they already knew too much.

But I love this town with all my heart.
In three months I’m getting married, in three months I will once again move and leave this town.
It’s not perfect, but it’s been my home and will remain my sanctuary.