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I Am Here to Tell My Story
I guess this is my part 2 of my story. I dont expect anyone to read it but writing it out is kinda freeing.

At the age of 5 my life as I remember it now has started. I recall watching my dad slowly begin to lose it from the whole ordeal with my mother and started drinking heavily. With just him now to take care of me it was hard financially and he moved back in with my grandparents who would go on to help raise me. Grandma and grandpa were already struggling as it was without me and my pops there. I remember not having food on many occasions and going to bed hungry and angry. I ate rice and beans regularly being it was the cheapest to fill up on and to this day I usually pass when offered any. It seemed like there was never a perfect moment where everything was alright like a normal family. If we had food, we didnt have electricity, if we had electricity, something else was gone temporarily. I still remember waking up for school super early and being so cold I had to eat my cereal by the open wood stove to stay warm. Fast forward some years to the age of 12-13ish. I'm now making more friends and starting to hang with the wrong people. The girls started to finally notice me for better or for worse as well. It was after a couple fights at school that landed me my first suspension of what will be many. It also brought me alot of attention, most of it being the wrong kind where it ended in violence. I thrived on it though and with my grandfather being a golden glove boxer and teaching me to fight from a young age, I excelled at it. I had mistaken all the attention for friendship though and my circle began to grow bigger than I was comfortable with. I would notice how alot of the kids liked to smoke marijuana and drink and thinking about my family's situation at home I saved up my money and bought my first pack to sell. Little did I know that one decision would be the moment in time that altered the rest of my life there after.
No more hand me downs now. I'm dressing myself in what I like. No more empty stomachs in my family's house either. They're happy I found a job "delivering newspapers" and the extra money is a welcome change. We even was able to have cable tv now which was not a normal thing in my house. Of course over time I began to change mentally now as well, I felt like I didnt need school anymore and that I was a man. I'm playing the role of one at home so why wouldn't I think that way. So it wasn't long before the absences began to rack up. I would go on to miss 135 days in that year and somehow I still passed Phys Ed. with a D lol. This would be the very beginning of my dealings with the courts and I was put on probation soon afterwards. I broke probation throughout the next couple years for numerous things ranging from assaults, violations for not checking in, and for breaking curfew and was sent to Juvenile detention repeatedly. I had always adapted well to my surroundings and to this day I think it was exactly that which bit me in the ass later. I adapted too well.
I'm now 17 and I'm starting to see things in a different light and setting goals and thinking about my future. I soon realized that marijuana wasn't the best investment to make money on in that 'trade' and made the switch to selling cocaine. The money came in faster than I could imagine and since I didnt use it myself and didnt spend it on flashy things, I started working towards my first goal in saving enough money to never have to kill myself working for someone else.
It was that year that I had my first experience in becoming a man and being seen as a man towards others. I was leaving from visiting a friend at his apartment and heading back to my car when I heard a woman screaming from the other side of the parking lot. At first I thought it's someone playing around until I heard the sobs and moans of someone truly in pain. I rushed to see what was happening and seen a grown man kicking a woman in the ground between cars. I rush in and immediately me and the man get to fighting. We had to have been fighting for a good 5 minutes before a cop finally pulls up. The fights broken up and more cops arrive on the scene and separate us for questioning. I feel as though I did the right thing and tell the cop everything that happened. Little did I know the woman who I just saved from getting her teeth kicked in told the cop that I had started a fight with her boyfriend and attacked him for no reason. The fact that she was injured wasn't brought up or even noticed and because of my past assault charges and trouble I had been in, I was taken to the county jail. When the cop transporting me told me himself that he believed me, I learned my second important lesson that day in life. Life isn't fair. My first one being that maybe trusting women isn't the best idea.
I was taken to juvenile detention again but it felt like I've outgrown that place and maybe it was just a premonition of what was to come possibly. My third day there we was locked down in our cells for the night and I heard the AOD's (guards) bringing someone new in. I shook the handle of my cell door enough to rattle the metal plate that covers the window to see the guy they're bringing into the cell across from me. It was a guy who I had a problem with for a long time and somehow always managed to not be around when he was. He was only 17 himself but he was a monster. He weighed at least 220lbs and was close to 6'4. I knew that in the morning when the doors opened there was going to be problems and when we locked eyes across the hall and he smiled I knew I had to do something. I immediately looked in my cell for anything I could use to help me and frustrated and scared I leaned against the wall and stared at the ceiling as almost in an attempt to ask God "why me?" And that's when I seen my chance. I noticed above the door in the cells was a fire alarm behind a metal cage screwed in the wall. I pulled out the eraser of my pencil and flattened the end and worked on unscrewing the metal cage until I was able to take it off the wall and put in my pillowcase for safe keeping. I stayed awake all night and waited for the doors to pop and readied myself mentally. 6am comes and i hear the sound of the locks popping down the hall rhythmically. I look out the window and now were both smiling at each other waiting. As the door opens and he comes towards me I hit him with the weighted pillowcase in the head and he goes down. The other kids surround us and the AODs have a hard time getting to us quickly. I dropped the bag after the first hit and got on top of him and continued beating him until I was tackled. The next 3 days I was strapped to my metal bunk with no cushion on it for my "72hr" punishment and then taken to the magistrate shortly afterwards for a new set of charges. Assault with a weapon, and malicious wounding. I was then put in the adult jail as a juvenile where I would go on to serve a year for that. It was my first lengthy stretch of time away up until then. I'll end here because the start of another chapter of my life begins here now. I never planned on writing any of these stories but maybe it helps me somehow. Maybe not. At least I can get out some of my story though.
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skmokisses41-45, F
That鈥檚 the beauty of this platform. Write for you. Get it out, off your chest.
Your struggles built you but don鈥檛 have to define you 馃
Thank you for sharing. I admire the bravery you have to put it all out there.
My heart breaks reading this. It鈥檚 a familiar story for quite a few young men I know or have known. I hope your story has a good ending.
[@1027980,BananaBrown] I've almost wrapped it up now with the last one. part 4 will be up to the present date so well see
Tina9126-30, F
Well.. it was a hard way. Life is hard and we are here without anyone ask us. We all have cross to take. And no one get's cross that he can't handle with. It is good to belive in God. Belive in tomorrow by doing today. U need to be proud about you no matther what. There are still good people in this world. As long as you live, you can change something. Good luck!
kablan51-55, M
im sorry you went through on that ive gone through osme crazy shit myself my dad was a mena alcholic my mom was pretty and popular i grew upin la it was sick m family to the say least intersting the people who did hear my story told me sorry dysliex aif cnae make it out
Fungirlmmm46-50, F
Although we have talked about this in the past I think you went deeper in this post. I'm glad that you are able to open up and write about your childhood. Big hugs! Keep writing and I'll keep reading. I might even comment.
[@1433,Fungirlmmm] thanks 馃槉
Fungirlmmm46-50, F
[@353058,Complexconfessions] you're welcome sweetpea.
Daisy5051-55, F
Sorry man
[@485257,Daisy50] Dont be, I wouldn't change anything. It's what made me the man I am today. Theres plenty of others who has had it worse. One girl on here in another country that I wont name,shes had a pretty tough life that makes mine look small

Not saying what you went through was - but it's the steady flow of cause and affect.
And that comment yoy made about a decisions that significantly changed your direction.

It's rather flat out!
U get that you're condensing it - I suppose thats the only bit that ruffles me.

But.. If you've put all the main stuff down... It's an exceptional example of how, even though intentions can be good, logical, and practical - even though one tries, keeps their ethics, takes the hits.
It's really absurdly stunning how you can be one place one time - anf you think it's shit - then.., you can be rolling and flying... Moving on up, and one disregarded thread, one moment of distraction, one Careless word ... And you can plummet faster than an eagle in free fall.
To a place... That made where yoy started look pretty good by comparison!

I've rebuilt myself or my life more than a few times now. Had to give up all that I'd made, had to leave with just a car load. Exoerienced things I wish i hadbt. But also got to do some really cool things as well.
Made good decisions that were destroyed by others, and made bad decisions that let me see some of the most beautiful things in my life... And the most painfil.

Your story shows how quickly fate moves... With us or against us.

And it's a good legacy of harsh reality - it ain't all sunshine and daisies.
[@912138,OogieBoogie] Yes its condensed a good bit. I dont want to bore anyone with anything longer than it already is lol.

The thing you said about rebuilding from nothing I can relate to. I've done it multiple times but continued to get back what I've lost along the way eventually.
[@353058,Complexconfessions] multiple times huh!?... Yeah me too. Although different ways.Adapting to a changing parent - I became one early, got out and had a head start beibg an adult - didn't last, Went crazy, refused meds. Got sane my own way. Built a future life, junkie boyfriend destroyed it, left with a truck, and a dog.
Rebuilt again, moved on, started a family, crisis hit, restructured. Refocussed and eliminated most luxuries - and threw everything I had at it to get it back on track.
Now - years later... Another crisis - one 5 years hasn't fixed. But discovered a lot of truths,, lies and betrayal. Pretence and blind greed.
And that this life is a fake... Time to take stock... And choose a new direction.
Is it a type of person this happens to?... Coz I swear I don't know any one else who has uprooted themselves. Rebuilt their character and had to redo as.much as me ( well - i know one - and his story is a doozy). I see others and this shit don't happen to them!!!

I swear I'm jinxed 馃榿
Please never stop writing... it is truly healing and it helps you and many who read them...

Thank you for sharing....
[@1067,Soossie] thank you doll 馃槉

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