I Am Starving

More accurately, my brain is starving. It requires growth, challenge, opportunities yet receives none. I’ve checked the supply lines over and over and they seem fine, the problem appears to lie with the input. My life is not very interesting, and to an extent, neither is anyone else’s. I’ve dabbled into hedonism at times, and am likely to end up there again. There’s a huge discrepancy between what I want and the wishes or even capabilities of others, and whenever I make some progress it seems to push any possible further progress away from me. It’s like a mathematical limit that I can only approach, and the closer I get the more obvious it becomes that I will never reach it. I could make peace with the situation, but there doesn’t seem to be much point in doing so: Either I accept my fate, and remain chronically unsatisfied - Or I don’t, remain chronically unsatisfied, but get a glimmer of hope I can hang on to while still trying things in life. There must be something out there that can still challenge me, help me grow, provide me with any sort of opportunity, something new, shiny, old, dusty, but different, for the love of God, please let it be different. Anything will do, anything that sparks something in me, however small. When you’re starving, pretty much any food tastes good.