I Want To Diee
When i was about ten i was sexually abused by a stranger which i had my struggles from it growing up! Apart from that i had and have a great family!
I was soooo happy i had the most amazing fiance and little boy! I met her when not long after i left school and joined the army!
(She wasnt in the army) met her on my break times 😉 when i was just about turning 18!
(i'm 25 now) she had the littlen before she met me but i loved him as my own after years of being together we had been helping people together whilst i was home which usually ment mentoring or helping people in their struggles. When i was on tour she would be out there helping anyone and everyone who needed a friend regardless of who they was!
She was my rock and was the one who gave me the strength to make the 22nd reg british special forces test. And to let go of my past when i was abused! Half way through my second tour with the special forces i was flown home half way through the tour to find out they both died in a car accident all the things i have seen or been throught never prepared me for that day.
The funeral was beautifull! The amount of people who went was unreal it was the hardest day of my life burrying them!
Afterwards i fell apart i started drinking alcohol and taking charlie everyday for months! I was in such a dark place.
If it wasnt for my squad dragging me out of it i am certain i wouldnt be here today!
Its been 18 months since and apart from being on tour when i dont have the time to think i do still struggle not having them around and havnt been back to church since. I am used to stressfull moments but this was too much to keep faith in god for me!
But i am here and even though i may of lost my faith in a god i havnt lost my faith in all people! There are some nasty people out there in the world but there is also good out there! I survived my hard times by others helping me through it so if you know anyone in times of struggle then be patient and help them through it! And if your struggling then go ask for help from someone!
You cant always do it alone so dont try to if your getting worse 😉
I was soooo happy i had the most amazing fiance and little boy! I met her when not long after i left school and joined the army!
(She wasnt in the army) met her on my break times 😉 when i was just about turning 18!
(i'm 25 now) she had the littlen before she met me but i loved him as my own after years of being together we had been helping people together whilst i was home which usually ment mentoring or helping people in their struggles. When i was on tour she would be out there helping anyone and everyone who needed a friend regardless of who they was!
She was my rock and was the one who gave me the strength to make the 22nd reg british special forces test. And to let go of my past when i was abused! Half way through my second tour with the special forces i was flown home half way through the tour to find out they both died in a car accident all the things i have seen or been throught never prepared me for that day.
The funeral was beautifull! The amount of people who went was unreal it was the hardest day of my life burrying them!
Afterwards i fell apart i started drinking alcohol and taking charlie everyday for months! I was in such a dark place.
If it wasnt for my squad dragging me out of it i am certain i wouldnt be here today!
Its been 18 months since and apart from being on tour when i dont have the time to think i do still struggle not having them around and havnt been back to church since. I am used to stressfull moments but this was too much to keep faith in god for me!
But i am here and even though i may of lost my faith in a god i havnt lost my faith in all people! There are some nasty people out there in the world but there is also good out there! I survived my hard times by others helping me through it so if you know anyone in times of struggle then be patient and help them through it! And if your struggling then go ask for help from someone!
You cant always do it alone so dont try to if your getting worse 😉
31-35, M