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I Am So Confused

So perhaps I'm just naive because of cultural issues or something but is a woman that is friends with a man automatically sending a message to that guy that she's interested in him?

I mean, this is the 4th or 5th time I've had a guy tell me I friendzoned them.But I never hide the fact that I'm married and openly state it, I don't flirt knowingly and stop a convo if it starts,I say outright I'm just friends with my guy friends and I treat them like brothers just like my girlfriends I treat like sisters.....

What am I doing wrong? I'm just going to never be friends with a guy and just be civil instead. Much easier.

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minarth008 · 61-69, M

If you have been open and honest up front, then the mistake is not yours, it is theirs. I wouldn't change anything because you may miss out on a great friendship.

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minarth008 · 61-69, M

@EllaDisenchanted My guess is, they thought they could wear you down, and they lost. They can't accept that defeat, so they try to bring you down as well. Don't let them do that, honesty is always best, and if they can't accept the fact that you are taken, and respect that boundary, then it is their loss. Don't let them make you feel guilty, there is no reason for that. You did the right thing by being honest and open about where you stand.

EllaDisenchanted · F

@minarth008 In this case it's s a friend that found out I finally got a Facebook account and I didn't put up a relationship status. He assumed it was because I was looking for something and was angry I didn't go to him for it. Really, it's a new profile and I haven't finished filling it out. AND not interested in that anyways.

minarth008 · 61-69, M

@EllaDisenchanted So it was obviously a bad assumption on his part. He has no reason to be mad at you, and should understand that your profile is still a work in progress. If he was a true friend, then he would have already known where you stood, and that you aren't looking for anything extra. I think this person was not really a good friend to you, he was seeking the one thing you are unwilling to give.

SW-User

Men don't message with each other every day... so expecting a man to just hang around and chat isn't a normal friendship.

EllaDisenchanted · F

@SW-User And I don't do that myself so I don't get it. That's why I was confused. Constant chatter can look like more than regular interest. and I don't girl chatter with guys as is.

SW-User

I have no other suggestions. Good luck with your situation.

CheshireCatalyst · 36-40, M

You're not doing anything wrong. There's a sense of entitlement from a lot of men. They feel that if they give you attention and thought you SHOULD love them.

KingLionHeart

What we can't be friends! 😱

EllaDisenchanted · F

@KingLionHeart lol as long add you don't expect muh panties we can.

KingLionHeart

@EllaDisenchanted I don't wear panties 😒

MethDozer · M

Nah, the whole friendliness thing is just tools stomping sour grapes and playing victim.

EllaDisenchanted · F

@MethDozer Im so annoyed when I hear friendzone now.

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