I Wish I Could Tell You
So heres the thing. I think somewhere along the lines i gave you the wrong impression. and im sorry. When i asked you to call i wasnt looking to rekindle what once was. I know thats the past and its best left there. Im not really sure what it was i wanted. maybe i was just looking for that comfort i use to find in your voice, That certain solace i lost.
Some times life catches up with me, and i lose focus of what it is thats suppose to matter. I have Days when things become to much and i want an escape. Even if its detrimental to myself, more times then not thats the route i take. For some reason i davil with things that only end painfully for me. I understand im nothing more then a memory to you. wether it be a good, sad, or a fadded one. I wasn't looking to be more this time. But ill admit Its funny that all this time later its still not totally,gone. the pain seems to linger. although its certianly setteled some.
You'll always be my "almost". I dont know anyother way to say it. We never really had a chance to be anything but almost. We were almost together, almost lovers, almost happy, just only ever almost.
Maybe there was a time when that almost was a what if? but that what if now is just a "oh well" a shoulda, coulda woulda, kinda thing. Its ridiculous you were the best friend i almost had. I could talk to you for hours about nothing and everything. And i could feel a burning deep in my soul that made me want to be someone i could never truly be. ive come to grips with who i am, who ive become and parts of me I've lost. mostly i understand ill never be that girl you made me want to be. ill never be brave or courageous. Just stuck somewhere between a wreck and "goodgirl". Just like everyone elese doing whats necessary to survive.
Some times life catches up with me, and i lose focus of what it is thats suppose to matter. I have Days when things become to much and i want an escape. Even if its detrimental to myself, more times then not thats the route i take. For some reason i davil with things that only end painfully for me. I understand im nothing more then a memory to you. wether it be a good, sad, or a fadded one. I wasn't looking to be more this time. But ill admit Its funny that all this time later its still not totally,gone. the pain seems to linger. although its certianly setteled some.
You'll always be my "almost". I dont know anyother way to say it. We never really had a chance to be anything but almost. We were almost together, almost lovers, almost happy, just only ever almost.
Maybe there was a time when that almost was a what if? but that what if now is just a "oh well" a shoulda, coulda woulda, kinda thing. Its ridiculous you were the best friend i almost had. I could talk to you for hours about nothing and everything. And i could feel a burning deep in my soul that made me want to be someone i could never truly be. ive come to grips with who i am, who ive become and parts of me I've lost. mostly i understand ill never be that girl you made me want to be. ill never be brave or courageous. Just stuck somewhere between a wreck and "goodgirl". Just like everyone elese doing whats necessary to survive.
36-40, F
