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I Still Think About My First Love

I fcked up. I shouldn't have made a peep... Instead, I unleashed what I'd successfully hidden long ago. I thought it was long gone.

I love the memory of him. I no longer know who he is, only that he's now fully immersed in his ego.

What is it I'm seeking, old times when we'd hang out? A flare of endorphins as he touches my cheek and holds my gaze? The way he says my name, as if it tastes sweet?

As someone insecure and shy, I loved his confidence and attitude of not caring about anything other than himself. It radiated from him, an intoxicating energy.
He made me feel beautiful. Like I was a painting that he wanted to admire... I, an aesthetic to his senses. A moment that would be forever frozen in time.

Maybe that's what I want. I want him to look at me as if it's only the two of us again. And he wants me to see him as a prince. Which I do. And unfortunately I always will.

It felt so right. I need him. I think I love him still.
It's been six years and I've never recovered I guess.

No one understands. But I know I don't have to prove my feelings.
Spokeskitties7546-50, M
I think we all reflect on our relationships in the same ways as you. No one needs to understand you... but you! 馃槉 But we all go through reflections
@Spokeskitties75 Maybe... But I don't like it :( Makes me miss him more, especially when he ignores me
Spokeskitties7546-50, M
@JupiterDreams well, I personally don鈥檛 know how anyone can ignore you... and anyone that does... doesn鈥檛 deserve you! What you are missing is the idea... but the reality isn鈥檛 as perfect as you deserve
This is good writing. Very heartfelt and honest.
@Coppercoil Thank you
JohnnySpot56-60, M

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I Still Think About My First Love
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