I Have a Theory

FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY
NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

My theory of how we evolved to who and what we are now.


One early morning
a few years ago,
maybe a few million or more
A single cell something
just hanging out at
a single cells' something's
sand bar;
Was waiting for some other
single cell something
to come in for some
single cell fun.

And after a mere
millennium or ten,
this really buff
single cell something
came in on the early tide.

Even back then
there were tides, ya know
I wouldn't say it if it weren't so.

Well this second single cell something
just sort of floated around
getting a feel for the place
and seeing what fun could be found
Soon, the first single cell something
drifted over and slithered
its slithery single cell self
all over the second
single cell something's
single cell.

So then, ya see:
these two single cells
discussed how to make
things more fun
for future generations
of single cell somethings
so life wouldn't be so humdrum

Unaware that their single cell brains
were too stupid to know or care
what kind of chaos their little dance fest
(to put it politely)
would cause, several millions of years in the future.

They were far too busy enjoying the wild sensations
that mingling their single cell something body fluids was giving them.
They were so caught up in these new and wonderful feelings
that they never even noticed the strange thing that was happening.
These two single cell somethings were no longer separate single cells.
They had melded. They were now a single double celled something.
And when other single cell somethings saw what these two had done,
they thought it was good and went ahead and mingled their
single cell body fluids and of course we all know that they too melded
and became single double cell somethings.

This slithery activity caught on big time, and soon all the singles were doubles.
They looked around and noticed there were no more single cell somethings
to get mingly and slithery with, so they decided to see what might happen
if they slithered and mingled their double cell selves.
And they saw that it was good. So good in fact,
That to this day, mingling body fluids, and getting slithery,
is one of humanity's greatest pleasures.

All because, even all that time ago,
common sense became much less common,
when these single cell somethings
got together for a slithery, mingly good time.



Nov. 3/16
4:56 pm
ejk