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I Have Trouble With Communication

There is a lot I can do with people when it comes to speaking to them and listening but once it's about my feelings it seems I never know what to say. I have trouble expressing myself when it comes in the form of conversation and I often end up feeling I have insulted the other person. I'm not sure how to go about this. I've just always had the feeling that I'm not wanted and people don't want to talk to me and I try to ignore it and treat it like paranoia but it's hard because as you get older you start to learn that sometimes you don't have to say anything, people just dont like you.

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Abstraction · 61-69, M

My partner struggled with this when she was your age. Growing up, she often offended people and didn't know how to connect. She had trouble understanding other people's feelings or expressing her own. So she studied people and learnt how to communicate.
Now? People LOVE to talk to her because she's such a great listener, and very empathetic. She just simply learnt this.
You can do that. Can I suggest you focus a lot more on listening to others and responding to them, laughing at their jokes, sympathising with their struggles... Most people just like to talk about themselves. People love to be listened to. It's a great place to start, and it will make you a rare gem: someone who genuinely listens.

Sagey47 · 26-30, F

@Abstraction But I listen to all my friends to the point of exhaustion and people often tell me I'm a great listener but no one wants to listen to me... I know very well people like to talk about themselves but when do I find a friend that it feels equal? Does partner have that? I mean aside from you though.

I'm not too old but I have spent a lot of time learning about people and their behavior. What I wonder is what makes your partner and I any different then them?

Abstraction · 61-69, M

@Sagey47 Ok. Yeah, I find my partner fascinating - everything she says.
There are too many people in the world who like the sound of their own voice but aren't good listeners. But a socially and emotionally mature person should be able to do both. I hope you find some of these, so that it can be an equal friendship.

Sagey47 · 26-30, F

@Abstraction thank you. I'll take what you said in consideration. Maybe I forgot how to listen along the way

Abstraction · 61-69, M

@Sagey47 I didn't mean you like the sound of your own voice! I meant that good listeners often attract people who like the sound of their own voice but don't give in return. It's harder to find people who give and take.

Sagey47 · 26-30, F

@Abstraction lol no I understood what you meant. I'm sorry that was abrupt but I trally did mean that I was always pay attention and lately I've had trouble so maybe it's a matter of me not listening anymore...
My mom told me that my whole life and I've grown up pretty lonely. It shows me people only talk to you when they need your lot of the time but I wonder where all the people who aren't always like that are. I've finally found a partner who doesn't make me feel like a babysitteror therapist so I guess I found one and should be happy