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I Feel Like I Don't Belong

Always There...

“It wasn’t simply his choosing to be alone that kept him that way. It was almost a condition of his existence. The feeling that he was an outsider had always been there.” - Terry Brooks

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ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

This hurts my heart. 😢

I often feel like an outsider too, but only because I choose to live my life differently, in some ways, from the norm. The fact that I feel different, separate is a source of pride for me though. I think how the person in the poem feels is not quite the same.

sciguy18 · M

@ChampagneOnIce Yes, choosing to be different is one thing. Wanting to fit in and not being able to, is quite another...

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

Well, there is serenity in the image. It's nice to be alone, to contemplate, and experience nature. I think finding your tribe is important too. You're not going to fit in with everyone, and I think that's ok. Why would you want to? I'd much rather have a few close friends than be around a bunch of people. I think you can feel lonely in a crowd of "friends" too, so I'd much rather spend time with a few people I love and who love me for me.

sciguy18 · M

@ChampagneOnIce "Language... has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone." - Paul Tillich

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

@sciguy18 Exactly.

But to the point of this post, I know it can hurt to feel like you don't belong. Loneliness is a physical pain for me, deep in my stomach. I can't explain it. I don't feel it often, but I do feel it at times, and it's a sad ache. I ache for those who are lonely, for those who want to feel a part of life, who want to be with people but for some reason are isolated.

sciguy18 · M

@ChampagneOnIce Not to diminish your feelings or pain, but I would think that being extroverted would at least make it easier to fit in with society. Being introverted, socially awkward and "different" seem to be the perfect recipe for feeling isolated. Your empathy for the lonely, misfit and isolated is a very admirable trait.

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

@sciguy18 Being an extrovert is easier is some ways, but you also tend to form more surface-level friendships/acquaintances. Often people expect you to be upbeat, outgoing, bubbly all the time, and many times I am, but sometimes I just want to be quite and introspective. As I've gotten older, I've become more introverted, or perhaps found more of a balance between the two.