I Have Something I Need to Say
I have something to say to my mom but i can't tell her how i feel or why I've been the way i have been to her in the past years, i really cant you all wont really understand but this is for my mom...
Dear mom,
I'm sorry. Im sorry for all the pain I've caused and for all the times ive lashed out at you for no reason or so it seemed to be for no reason.
Im sorry i dont show love towards you anymore i havent told you i loved you in years, i have no memory of the last time i told you i loved you its been that long.
I don't give you hugs unless you ask and even when you do ask most of the time i say no my last memory of hugging you was when you were crying you were scared and you thought you were dying you keep going to see the doctors you wanted a hug from me you wanted comfort i just stood there as you hugged me i seemed as if i didnt care. I [i]did[/i]. I cried and prayed I cared mom i really did. If you die id be completely destroyed there would be no comming back from that id die inside completely. Id physically break down and die from a heart break id be destroyed.
I think about the people who have lost their moms and i can only imagine how they feel (im sorry to you all who have lost your moms i really am).I had a dream a few months ago that you died at work and when i found out i cried and cried and screamed telling you that i didnt hate you because youve asked me many times if i hate you now. In the dream i screamed i told you im sorry for the way i treated you the past 8 years, i told you why i changed and why its so hard for me to show you love and why its so hard for me to even talk to you anymore and why we fell apart. I remember feeling complete regret in the dream i remember being in so much pain knowing you died thinking i hated you and that the way i am now was your fault.
Im just sorry for it all and i wish we were close like we were when i was little it breaks my apart how our relationship is now broken. Im trying to change, things have changed me that i cant really explain and i cant stop its very hard i need help i cant just stop on my own. I wish i could change im trying i wish these things never happened to me Its not your fault im just angery i take it out on you and i can't show love to you anymore its hard extremely difficult its hard for me to show my emotions to anyone anymore i cant exaplin. Im trying to fix us even though our mom daughter relationship will never be as good as it once was im trying to at least fix it.
Just know that i appreciate all that you've done for me and that you're a great mom how i am now is not your fault i know you believe how i am is your fault but its not you did everything you could for me and you still do. Thank you for all you've done for me.
I love you.
- Your daughter
Dear mom,
I'm sorry. Im sorry for all the pain I've caused and for all the times ive lashed out at you for no reason or so it seemed to be for no reason.
Im sorry i dont show love towards you anymore i havent told you i loved you in years, i have no memory of the last time i told you i loved you its been that long.
I don't give you hugs unless you ask and even when you do ask most of the time i say no my last memory of hugging you was when you were crying you were scared and you thought you were dying you keep going to see the doctors you wanted a hug from me you wanted comfort i just stood there as you hugged me i seemed as if i didnt care. I [i]did[/i]. I cried and prayed I cared mom i really did. If you die id be completely destroyed there would be no comming back from that id die inside completely. Id physically break down and die from a heart break id be destroyed.
I think about the people who have lost their moms and i can only imagine how they feel (im sorry to you all who have lost your moms i really am).I had a dream a few months ago that you died at work and when i found out i cried and cried and screamed telling you that i didnt hate you because youve asked me many times if i hate you now. In the dream i screamed i told you im sorry for the way i treated you the past 8 years, i told you why i changed and why its so hard for me to show you love and why its so hard for me to even talk to you anymore and why we fell apart. I remember feeling complete regret in the dream i remember being in so much pain knowing you died thinking i hated you and that the way i am now was your fault.
Im just sorry for it all and i wish we were close like we were when i was little it breaks my apart how our relationship is now broken. Im trying to change, things have changed me that i cant really explain and i cant stop its very hard i need help i cant just stop on my own. I wish i could change im trying i wish these things never happened to me Its not your fault im just angery i take it out on you and i can't show love to you anymore its hard extremely difficult its hard for me to show my emotions to anyone anymore i cant exaplin. Im trying to fix us even though our mom daughter relationship will never be as good as it once was im trying to at least fix it.
Just know that i appreciate all that you've done for me and that you're a great mom how i am now is not your fault i know you believe how i am is your fault but its not you did everything you could for me and you still do. Thank you for all you've done for me.
I love you.
- Your daughter
