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I Dont Have Kids And Dont Want Kids

I’ve never understood the appeal that a lot of people I know talk about. Sometimes in high school you hear your classmates say, “ I can’t wait to get married and have kids.” I’d just silently sit there and ponder over their words really hard and try to understand or make sense of it.

I’ll be the first to admit it, I can’t see how being a parent is exciting. I’m just being brutally honest. Settling down and getting married to someone and being committed to a partner is one thing. That’s more reasonable to me, but to desperately want to be a mother or a father is confusing for me to digest.

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SW-User

same it sounds like a jail sentence, going from one controlling house to being burdened with another life long responsibility

Thebestof1995 · 26-30, F

@SW-User I’ve just known since my early teens I would not be the motherly type. I’ve never been enthused being around babies. You know how some girls are like “Look at the baby! Awww! It’s so cute!” Or if they ask me if I want to hold it I want to say, “no, not really” but I take it anyway. Pretty clear signs for me. 🤔🙄

SW-User

@Thebestof1995 yeah I’m already tired of raising my sibling so I get you; most people don’t know the difference between entertaining a baby for 20 minutes vs the reality

vividsid94 · 26-30, M

It's weird how there are a good amount of people (maybe 20-30%) who don't want to get married, or don't want a lifelong partner, but only like 0.00001% of people who don't want kids 😄

SW-User

@vividsid94 many get pressured into having kids so you won’t hear about them

Thebestof1995 · 26-30, F

I think more people are more willing to have a child than get married because most people learn long before they’re even 20 that as adults we frequently disappoint each other. But raising another human being and pouring all the love they can muster into the kid...well, typically love is reciprocated. @vividsid94

vividsid94 · 26-30, M

@Thebestof1995 Yup, also some other factors: there is some binding thing that shared DNA has, as if that alone makes love magically unconditional. I know some who actually feel like their partners are expendable simply because there is no blood connection. Furthermore, historically romance is a very new thing, in most of human history (maybe outside the last 10 or so centuries) the point of having a partner was to strictly reproduce, and that's how it is with animals anyway.

By prioritizing friends and partners, I personally prefer the kind of relationships that I actually signed up for 😆 and where human/personality connection is of utmost importance.