I Am Not the Same Person I Used to Be

My life has not been easy. It made me hard. Selfish. Emotionless. I trusted no one. But then things changed and I trusted someone. And it's been downhill ever since. I wish I could to back to being emotionless. I have too many emotions. Too many feelings. Too much love. If I can't turn it off, how can I tone it down? I deserve the world but this emotional side of me clings to a person who has destroyed my world. I used to be logical. Rational. Almost robotic. I miss that person. I want to be that person. Just until I get through these trying times. Maybe when the time is right, I can safely be that emotional person. With the right person. I don't think being emotional is bad. There are so many feelings to experience. I'm just so tired of experiencing only the painful ones. I know what it is to experience bliss. Sometimes I wish I didn't.

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"