I hate it but was it my fault?

It feels like it should have been so simple just to say no and that be that but no it went out of control.

I want to blame him fully for what happened I was scared of him but when he praised me it made me feel better about it like I was doing something good.
I keep being told that he manipulated played with my head to turn me into a toy he could do whatever he wanted. So why do I feel like I didn't fight enough stop him from worming his way into my mind so that the right words would break down all my resistance? Why does it feel like I gave in too easily?