I Love a Clean House
It really makes me feel better to have a clean house. Too often, when I'm really upset, I just start picking things up. This leads to cleaning things up, organizing, dusting, etc. Washing things that didn't bother me the hour before suddenly become horribly disgusting and I cannot do anything until it's all clean. The house is older, I have let some things go because it's impossible to get them unstained but it's a nice little place and my kids and I like to chill here.
Yesterday, while at his dad's, my son messaged me and said that he was sick and needed to go to the doctor. I tried to call, he didn't answer and I called his dad, he also didn't answer. So I called my ex mother in law and got the scoop. I knew he was sick the previous week, but it was honestly allergies. I was a little irritated that his dad couldn't call but I prefer not to open communication anymore with him because it just gets bad.
He drops my son by my house with a list of demands. Copy of insurance card, dr's office number, a doctors note for missed school, not unreasonable stuff but still a phone call would not have been out of the question. I have given him this info in the past and he is completely able to make the appointment and get him treated himself. When we were married he couldn't make a dr's appointment, why would he start now?
I didn't really agree with giving him antibiotics but he was miserable (strep negative btw) and it had gone on for a week and the doctor wrote a presc<x>ription for one. I got the over the counter medicine she recommended, took care of filling the antibiotic, and I will pay the co pay when it arrives. I am happy to take care of my son and I was happy i was home to take care of him. I fed him lunch and gave him the medicine and a list of instructions of how much and to take with food, etc. I did get a phone call after taking him home. It was pleasant and not terrible.
So today, I get a text because he was offended that I thought he would over medicate our son, because that is what usually happens. Ex always thought that if a little medicine didn't help, more would. I did say to my son to not take too much and to have his dad check if there was any of the same medicine in anything else he planned to give him. This was interpreted by ex that I was scared he would over medicate him. Which he almost did by the way until I called him to follow up on his hateful text. My son repeats everything so I am really careful not to say anything I don't want anyone else to hear. Ex takes everything very insanely personal and the wrong way and then turns it around back on me. So I am a horrible mother and he always took care of our kids excellently while I selfishly went to work and let everyone else take of our girls when they were little. Then he knew I went to a co workers wedding shower yesterday and asked if I talked about how I cheated on him and how I screwed up our marriage. Then he told me that the reason we don't talk is because I get offended too easily. I honestly just had called him to see what he meant in his text. I got this crap about how I sucked as a mom(after taking care of our son the previous day), how I was a terrible nurse(i did correct him in almost double medicating him) and he always seems to work in the fact that I cheated on him.
I was supposed to pick up our daughter from college today for Easter break and it turns out she's found a ride with some friends. Holidays are touchy for ex and they tend to bring out the worst in him.
I ended up just saying that I'm not a bad mom and he isn't a bad dad. I pointed out that we get defensive when we talk to each other and that he gets really hateful when he's defensive.
We both apologized....by text and I now have a clean living room, bathroom and a load of laundry in the washing machine.
Yesterday, while at his dad's, my son messaged me and said that he was sick and needed to go to the doctor. I tried to call, he didn't answer and I called his dad, he also didn't answer. So I called my ex mother in law and got the scoop. I knew he was sick the previous week, but it was honestly allergies. I was a little irritated that his dad couldn't call but I prefer not to open communication anymore with him because it just gets bad.
He drops my son by my house with a list of demands. Copy of insurance card, dr's office number, a doctors note for missed school, not unreasonable stuff but still a phone call would not have been out of the question. I have given him this info in the past and he is completely able to make the appointment and get him treated himself. When we were married he couldn't make a dr's appointment, why would he start now?
I didn't really agree with giving him antibiotics but he was miserable (strep negative btw) and it had gone on for a week and the doctor wrote a presc<x>ription for one. I got the over the counter medicine she recommended, took care of filling the antibiotic, and I will pay the co pay when it arrives. I am happy to take care of my son and I was happy i was home to take care of him. I fed him lunch and gave him the medicine and a list of instructions of how much and to take with food, etc. I did get a phone call after taking him home. It was pleasant and not terrible.
So today, I get a text because he was offended that I thought he would over medicate our son, because that is what usually happens. Ex always thought that if a little medicine didn't help, more would. I did say to my son to not take too much and to have his dad check if there was any of the same medicine in anything else he planned to give him. This was interpreted by ex that I was scared he would over medicate him. Which he almost did by the way until I called him to follow up on his hateful text. My son repeats everything so I am really careful not to say anything I don't want anyone else to hear. Ex takes everything very insanely personal and the wrong way and then turns it around back on me. So I am a horrible mother and he always took care of our kids excellently while I selfishly went to work and let everyone else take of our girls when they were little. Then he knew I went to a co workers wedding shower yesterday and asked if I talked about how I cheated on him and how I screwed up our marriage. Then he told me that the reason we don't talk is because I get offended too easily. I honestly just had called him to see what he meant in his text. I got this crap about how I sucked as a mom(after taking care of our son the previous day), how I was a terrible nurse(i did correct him in almost double medicating him) and he always seems to work in the fact that I cheated on him.
I was supposed to pick up our daughter from college today for Easter break and it turns out she's found a ride with some friends. Holidays are touchy for ex and they tend to bring out the worst in him.
I ended up just saying that I'm not a bad mom and he isn't a bad dad. I pointed out that we get defensive when we talk to each other and that he gets really hateful when he's defensive.
We both apologized....by text and I now have a clean living room, bathroom and a load of laundry in the washing machine.
51-55, F
